


take me to nirvana

by aaronsrob



Series: take me to nirvana [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn, do i know what to tag this, it won’t be detailed at all though, it’s just a dive into aaron’s past a bit so nothing worse than what was on the show, no not really, they do kiss eventually i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-14 04:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15380535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaronsrob/pseuds/aaronsrob
Summary: basically a big fat mess of aaron pining after (his best friend) robert even though he’s seeing chrissie. two oblivious (basically) boyfriends who won’t admit feelings for eachother





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> hey!! so this is my first fic n i don’t know how far i’m gonna go with this or if my attention span is gonna hold out for multiple chapters but i’ll do my best xxx 
> 
> we also know chap 1 is extra short oops
> 
> would love if u told me what u thought of it.

Aaron was half asleep when he heard it, the sun slowly setting as he looked out the window of comfortable in the company of Robert, Adam and Victoria, having spent the day, for the first time in a long time, just the four of them, his best friends. it was great - though Victoria’s voice soon cut through the contented silence that had filled the room for the last few minutes.

“So when are the two of you finally gonna pop the question and get it over with then?” she asked through a laugh, winking towards her brother and his (her, before Robert came into the picture, thank you very much) best friend, Aaron.

  
It had quickly become a joke between both the Sugdens and Dingles that aaronandrobert as they were known these days, were just SO joined at the hip, that it would be almost inhumane if they weren’t to get married at some point in the future despite their constant reassurance to everybody that they were ‘just friends’

“Fuck off will you” Aaron muttered, his lips forming into a slight smirk, no heat to his words, rolling his eyes in the vague direction of Victoria’s voice, though if he was going, to be honest, he wasn’t paying very much attention to her at all - instead having his head pressed to Robert’s chest, legs thrown over the arms of the sofa they were both sitting on.

“Awww” Robert teased, his spare hand finding its way through Aaron’s hair, for once not coated in the gel that usually resided there for the majority of days.   
“She’s only joking, everyone knows we absolutely despise each other” the older man stuck his tongue out, only millimetres away from the others face as Aaron laughed, squirming to get away from him.

It was easy with Robert, it always had been. A different kind of friendship to one that he had held with Adam for an even longer amount of time. From the moment they met when they were only twelve and fifteen, though they were still so young, Aaron knew that he would be in his life for a long time, forever even, and though they were this affectionate and touchy-feely all the time, they had never crossed a line nor ever said anything about being in a relationship and even though most of the people surrounding them assumed it, Robert was dating and Aaron.... well, he was Aaron.

“And what do you think Chrissie would say about you being all up in his personal space?” Adam asked, the regular cheeky smile playing on his lips as he held back laughter. the bastard full well knew what he was doing and Aaron knew just as much.

“Shut up Adam, nobody cares!” he shot back.

Robert continued to act unbothered - as he should, probably, he had been seeing this girl or, pretentious twat, as Aaron had quite fondly nicknamed her, for a couple of weeks now and for some reason or another, which Aaron just CLEARLY didn’t understand, Robert seemed to quite like her. But it was fine. Fine.

“I don’t think she’d mind, she likes Aaron” though Robert didn’t sound one hundred per cent certain in the fact from the moment it had left his lips.  
“And anyway, she KNOWS, that this boy here is my number one" he pointed over towards him, pulling the younger man impossibly closer into his side.

“Course she does” Aaron muttered, subconsciously moving closer into Robert and biting his lip as he pressed his face into the blonde’s chest, groaning a little, quieter than he had been for the whole night.

It was obvious to everyone in the room, in the house and probably in the country, that the mention of Chrissie did nothing less than make Aaron uncomfortable and he hated talking about her. from the moment that Robert had introduced them both to each other, it had been constantly awkward.

“When am I gonna be blessed with your lovely girlfriend's presence again then, Rob?”  
“Did I not tell you?” Robert whispered, his breath tickling Aaron’s ear as he spoke, making goosebumps raise over the younger man's entire body, distracted from what he was actually saying.

“You what?”  
“She’s coming over to ours for dinner tomorrow, and we want you to be there, 7pm?”

 

 

 

 


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL the first chapter really was SOOOO much shorter than i had anticipated and i hate where i ended it but i really wanna give this an actual chance since i tried really hard on it blah blah blah so here's a second chapter that honestly should have probably just been whacked on the end of the first chapter cba 
> 
> anyway here we go lets try again

“…Sure, that's fine!”

 

“You’re excited then? Fab! I'm thinking… we could all order a Chinese, or I could make pasta, I dunno, what do you think Chrissie would like? I'm not good at this whole dating thing…”

 

It was obvious Robert was nervous, and if he was talking about anybody else Aaron would find it quite sweet and endearing that he was that bothered over what to make for dinner.

 

“I reckon order in, she’s not gonna expect a romantic meal for three is she…unless she's into that kinda thing I guess?” Aaron laughed

 

He really couldn't believe his luck, how else would Aaron want to spend a Saturday night other than sitting in like a third wheel on his best friend's date with his (overly obnoxious) girlfriend?

 

“Don't think so mate, sorry to disappoint, but I don't think you’re into that kinda thing either, the last time I checked?”

 

Before Robert had even finished his sentence Aaron had thought of a million better things that he could be doing as the weekend began, but obviously he would have to sit through Chrissie droning on about whatever she liked to talk (or moan) about whether he liked it or not, he couldn't let on to anybody that he was less than ecstatic with the news.

 

“Fuck off Rob, don’t act Aaron here is the only one in this room that admires the male physique, we all know before you had Chrissie knocking on your bedroom door you were lapping up all the attention from anybody that would give it to you!”

 

Adam was only joking, but Aaron couldn't have been more grateful that he was there to fight his corner.

 

“Maybe you should try it sometime” Robert smirked “You might have some more success with the men than you do with the ladies”

 

Aaron wasn't really listening by now, at the forefront of his mind he was more than aware that he had no other choice than to turn up to this stupid dinner and though he prided himself on being a better than average liar, he knew for a fact that Robert could read him like a book, and thus, coming up with an excuse without time to think it through first wouldn't be one of Aaron’s smartest ideas to date. he was quickly snapped out of his thought trance when he heard Robert’s voice.

 

“I can’t wait for you to meet properly, my two favourite people and all that, I know you’ll get on perfectly Aaron, honestly… she really is the best”

 

“Wh-what? Y-yeah…course we will”

 

With that Aaron suddenly sat up straight, moving a slight distance between himself and Robert though still touching. it was almost like instinct, they were never not. he couldn't let on that he despised a woman that he had only met a good few times at most, could he? and well, if Victoria liked her, then she must be great.

 

“We went shopping the other day and she just kept complimenting me! she’s great! too good for our rob, that’s for sure, not as perfect as you though…” she giggled

In many ways, it was beneficial that Aaron was a good actor, because as far as he knew, all of his friends had fallen for his act, even if Victoria was still one hundred percent certain that when it didn’t work out with Chrissie, her brother would end up with her childhood best friend.

 

“At least this one has lasted more than a couple of hours, talk about fuck and chuck eh mate, I'm surprised that Aaron can still hack living in the same flat with you considering the both of you share a wall, how has he not gone deaf yet?”

 

Aaron pulled a face, less than impressed, Adam may be vulgar but that didn't make him any less correct.

 

“May not be deaf but I've definitely had to invest in a few new pairs of earphones in the last year and a half” he smirked.

 

“I'm not that bad, don’t even try and lie about it Aaron! Just because you've barely had a shag since you moved in!”

 

“You’ve had enough for all of us though haven't you mate!”

Aaron winked, raising the beer that had been sat on the table to his lips and taking a sip, as he did so he realised that it was probably Robert’s - not that he minded one bit, looking the man straight in the eyes as he placed it back down on the table.

 

Maybe he shouldn't be so worried about getting to know Chrissie, there was nothing between him and Robert anyway, there never had been, they hadn't even done so much as kiss and if they were going to they would have by now, wouldn't they?

 

“Nice beer that Rob, thanks” he kicked his legs over Robert’s again, back in the familiar position that the two always seemed to find themselves in, even in the comfort of their own home.

 

“Stealing my beer Aaron Dingle, how very dare you!” Robert mocked, climbing over so he was hovering over Aaron.

 

The younger man flushed a brighter shade of pink by the second, very glad that he could blame it on the intoxication, hoping Robert wouldn't pick up on the fact that he had barely had more than a couple of beers and even that had been over a few hours, nowhere near enough to affect him like Aaron had claimed.

 

He could feel Robert’s breath on his skin, his voice in his ear, willing himself to keep his eyes open, knowing if he closed them he would get lost in the moment and end up having to explain what could be an extremely embarrassing situation. instead he just smiled, looking up at the blonde above him and taking in his features, not noticing as his eyes dropped further down, now focusing on Robert’s lips.

 

“Haven't been on your back for a while have you Dingle?”

That was the voice of a serial flirter and Aaron knew it, snapping himself out of it as he tried to push Robert back, though with the little force he was using, barely moved him an inch.

“Fuck off Robert. Get off me will you?” his voice lower than usual, his eyes darting between all of the features on Robert's face

“Steal my beer and now you’re the one swearing at me, just gets better and better”

This was Robert being a tease, knowing how to push Aaron’s buttons, get on his nerves without pushing it that bit too far, but then again, only one person seemed to have a skill like that, and Aaron himself was sure that it was probably something to do with the name. Good old Robert Sugden.

 

Aaron pushed again a little more force this time.

 

“You’re not going anywhere Dingle” Robert whispered, his voice doing the same thing to Aaron that it always did when he spoke to him like that, the hairs raising on end, goosebumps covering his entire body. He was sure if it was possible, he'd even see them on his toes.

 

They stayed like that for a while, Robert moving closer and closer by the second. If Aaron didn’t know his friend better, he’d be expecting a kiss.

 

“Oi!” Adam shouted, knowing exactly what he was doing - he always did, and it worked, the smug bastard.

 

It caused Robert and Aaron to break away from each other, both startled like a deer in the headlights, until Aaron gained composure once again. He didn't know why he kept doing this - finding himself in compromising positions with Robert that came across way worse than they actually were. It was just constantly worsening the thoughts that were running through his mind. He couldn't let this get to him - they were aaronandrobert best friends, no matter who either of the respective parties were dating.

 

“Chrissie won't mind?” Aaron teased, repeating Robert’s words from earlier, trying not to show how much the others actions had caught up with him.

He pressed a sloppy kiss to Robert's cheek.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aww this is probably even worse than the first chapter 
> 
> let me know what u think we love validation in this house


	3. chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh thank you to everyone thats commented on this and convinced me to keep going! im really enjoying writing this 
> 
> hopefully this chapter is a bit longer and u like it!

“Rob! Are you fucking serious?”

The pause that Aaron was presented with was long enough for him to throw a cushion across the room, hitting the wall on the other side.

“What’s up gorgeous?” the words dripped from his lips like honey and immediately melted any frustration that Aaron had been feeling towards the other man.

“Stop flirting with me and start tidying up, if you haven’t forgotten it’s your girlfriend that’s coming over in-”

“About forty-five minutes, I know, I was just getting out the shower so I’m pretty sure you didn’t actually want my help until about five minutes ago when I put these trousers on.”

Aaron’s eyes betrayed him as he looked down, Robert bit his lip.

“Maybe I’m wrong, stop staring Dingle” he laughed, pulling Aaron in for a hug and pressing a kiss to his temple. “Thank you for helping, I really appreciate you making the effort” he whispered.

Robert didn’t know what he would do without Aaron and that much showed, he was more than nervous for this day, running a hand through his hair which was currently in a state of flatness against his head, he really wanted this to work out, more than anything previously.

“I do really want this to work out with Chrissie” came a whisper, voicing his thoughts to the man that was still wrapped up tightly in his arms.

It was his last chance, in his mind anyway. Hitting the ripe old age of twenty-six with nothing more to his name than a so-so job in town and well, an apartment that he lived in with his best friend, not that he would change that for anything in the world.

He would repeat those reasons until he was blue in the face when anybody asked but those close to him knew full well that he was just bluffing. In the back of his mind no matter how pushed back and hidden between everything else it may be, He knew that Aaron was the one that he was supposed to be with.

Aaron broke the tension with a loud laugh that came spilling from his lips.

“Fucking amazing we’re getting takeaway then init? If you wanna keep her you can’t be killing her off with your cooking!”

“Because you’re the next Gordon Ramsay are you?”  
“Nah, but I do pride myself as the next Jamie Oliver…” he teased, he couldn't make more than a slice of toast if he tried, but that was the fun about living with Robert. despite his constant teasing, only one man in the house could make a decent meal, and it for sure wasn’t Aaron.

“Now, get off me, listen to what I said and for God’s sake, please help me tidy up this absolute dump before posh Polly turns up and has something to say about it.”

Robert smirked. He had to admit, that was funny.

He pulled away from Aaron with a smile, shaking his head fondly as he began to tidy up. He did want to make a good impression if nothing else, so he did as he was told.

The two cleaned in a comfortable silence until they were startled by a knock on the door.

Aaron was so nervous that it almost felt like his own date, straightening up his hoodie (if that was even possible) and sitting with his feet on the floor, as opposed to being sprawled out on the sofa like they usually were. He wanted Robert to know he was trying, even though he felt like his heart was gonna come right back up and through his mouth.

Robert smiled over at him, he could sense the tension in the room. “She’ll love you, promise”

It was as if the two of them haven't met before, which wasn't the case, but they'd never spent a prolonged amount of time in each others company, and that alone just made Aaron nervous, not to mention having to be subject to what would probably be a million questions from Chrissie.

In the time that he had become lost in his thoughts, Robert had gone to the door and opened it with a massive smile on his face, embracing the woman behind it into a massive hug, kissing her slowly, causing Aaron to glance up and bite his lip, wishing he hadn’t. “Hello beautiful” Robert smiled, taking Chrissie’s coat from her and placing it carefully over the chair.

This was a side of Robert that Aaron had only seen come out a few times, when going to weddings, posh restaurants and when he was on the phone to his colleagues, perhaps what would be described as all of Robert’s best qualities, and none of his worst, but not in a good way.

When the kiss didn’t break after a good few more seconds, he couldn't bear it anymore, breaking the awkward sort of silence himself.

“Chinese on its way!”

“Oh, Aaron!” Chrissie grinned as she moved away from Robert and towards the sofa where Aaron was stood. “I’ve heard so much about you, Robert never shuts up about you!”

He wished he could say the same about her

“Oh, he does?” questioning Chrissie, though his eyes were directed towards the fit blonde on the other side of the room, biting his lip. “I’m just his bit on the side, don’t worry about that" he smiled.

Part of Aaron knew he should step back and stop this game of cat and mouse with Robert, especially when his girlfriend was spending the evening with them but he couldn't help himself, he wanted to prove he knew how to get under Robert’s skin and Chrissie didn’t.

“Course I do" came Robert’s voice, stuttering and slightly hesitant as he spoke, walking over to the others and wrapping his arm tightly around Chrissie’s waist and pulling her in closer, similarly to how he did with Aaron. “You’re my best friend aren’t you mate?”

Aaron nodded, falling silent all over again. Robert just reminding him of what he already knew. There was no way on earth he would ever have with Robert, even after eight years of being basically inseparable, what Chrissie seemed to have after only a few weeks of knowing him.

“Course, wouldn't have it any other way” he mumbled, offering them both a soft smile as he looked up again, quickly blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn’t even know why he was so upset, it wasn't like he wasn't aware of the fact, but it all just seemed so real with Robert’s girlfriend in their house, all over him, pressing kisses to his face.

“Forever” he promised before snapping himself out of it at the sound of their doorbell, thankful that their food arriving had given him an excuse to get out of the situation.

“C’mon then, Let’s eat!”

 

Laughter managed to fill the small room as the three of them ate their dinner, Aaron discovering, that despite his own insecurities about his relationship with Robert, maybe Chrissie wasn't too bad after all.

“So what do you do then?” he asked, passing the bag of prawn crackers over the other side of the table, his breath hitching as he brushed Robert’s hand on the way, colour filling back into his cheeks immediately.

“I’ve been working in my father's business for a while actually, its a family thing”

“Aaron’s a mechanic,” Robert told her, smiling “He’s very good with his hands”

 

The three of them sat in front of the TV for the rest of the night, Aaron on the chair next to the sofa, his usual place being taken by a petite brunette that smelt nicely of a kind of perfume that Aaron wasn’t able to place - not that he was the type to admire a woman’s scent anyway, but it overpowered him in a way that unsettled him a little, a difference to what he was used to, living with Robert.

Speaking of the man, he was laying relaxed against the arm of the couch, Chrissie laid between his legs, head on his chest whilst he was twiddling her curled hair through his fingers. They were whispering and giggling about something that Aaron couldn’t quite make out. If he was being honest, it was a sweet thing to see, but that didn’t mean he was any happier with it.

“I best be going” came a soft voice from Robert’s side of the room.  
“Why? You’re not busy in the morning are you?”

She shook her head, with a smirk.

“I’m sure I can get out of work in the morning, you don’t mind if I stay over do you, Aaron?”

He did. Of course, he did.

“Absolutely fine, have a good night,” Aaron said, not lifting his head from his phone, being buried in it half the night to distract him from the absolute monstrosity that the evening had turned into.

“Thanks, mate, we’ll try not to keep you up” Robert laughed, pulling Chrissie in the direction of his bedroom.

That was it. Aaron hated Chrissie


	4. chapter four

 

“Morning" Robert beamed, rolling over and pulling Chrissie closer into his chest, smothering kisses all down her neck. 

 

This was all he had ever wanted, especially as a child and growing up. Although everybody knew him as a bit of a womanizer, all he had ever wanted in life was to find a kind, respectable girl, settle down and start a family, or at least that's what he had thought.

 

He'd had an amazing night, had a pretty girl still in his bed from the previous night but he just didn't feel completely right. All he could think about, no matter how much he wished he could keep the thoughts in the back of his mind, was the bearded mechanic on the other side of his door. 

 

"Good morning baby," her voice was soft and sweet, but in Robert's ears, it was almost sickening. "You're amazing you know that? I'm so glad to have you" she moved closer, pressing her body into his side and throwing the duvet cover up close to them. "You busy today?" 

 

He hadn't been only a quick meeting at work for an hour or so and then nothing for the rest of the day, but something in his brain told him to think fast, and suddenly he had plans with Aaron for the remainder of the day.

 

"Oh, that's a shame" Chrissie murmured, though she didn't seem all that worried, sleepy smile still formed across her lips, so Robert didn't feel as guilty about sending her home. 

 

He couldn't quite place what was wrong with him as he was seeing this lovely lady out of the door, waving goodbye to Chrissie with a promise of "See you next time" and "Thank you for a great night".No more than two years ago would Robert as he used to be would have been over the moon at the prospect of someone wanting to stay in his bedroom for more than a couple of hours, not even to mention staying until the next morning. Now he was willingly sending them away? That just wasn't him. 

 

After letting her go he quickly chucked on some clothes (half of which he was convinced weren't even his) as he made his way out of his bedroom and into the living room, he felt his chest fluttering at the idea of seeing Aaron, it was a comfortable and warm feeling that made him feel like he was home, nobody making butterflies fill in his body like the man that he called his best friend.

 

"Before you touch me, you better get in that fucking shower quicker than you can count to three...disgusting!" 

 

There it was, Aaron could yell and moan at Robert all he wanted, but no matter what, he was always there to see in the morning, and that was all Robert could ever ask for.

 

He laughed and rolled his eyes.

 

"You've had a lot worse on you than my sweat, come here you dickhead, gimme a hug, I know you missed me for the whole..." 

 

Rob looked up at the clock that resided on their kitchen wall for effect, gasping in mock horror. 

 

"You haven't seen me in a whole, _eight_ hours... you definitely need a hug!"

 

The laughter that he heard after his words meant that he succeeded, tackling Aaron down onto the couch until his body was pressed on top of him, this was comfortable and regular. Their friendship had always been a childish kind of playful since they met, and neither of the boys would have it any other way. 

 

Robert loved spending time with Aaron more than he liked doing anything else in the world, just the two of them and nobody else. 

 

"You're so gross Rob, fuck sake"

“And You, are such a liar! You love it really” 

“Nah, literally you’re disgusting, I mean it! get in the shower”

“Only if you come with me, Dingle!” 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, laughing as he flopped down on the sofa if anybody was used to Robert's cheeky attempt of faux flirting it was most likely him. if only Robert actually meant his words, but he didn’t, and he would never. Only Chrissie was lucky enough to get that kind of privilege as to be able to share a shower with Robert. In the back of Aaron's mind, he was sure that they had probably done such a thing. This was Robert they were talking about, he would take any chance he had if it included a woman on the other end of things.

 

“If you’re quick enough, I’ll drop you off at work on my way to the garage, I’m leaving in twenty minutes tops...” 

 

Robert looked over his shoulder and smiled back at Aaron as he pulled his tracksuit bottoms away from his legs, throwing them in the general direction of the living room with a wink. “I’ll be five minutes mate” 

 

He quickly made his way into the bathroom, turning the shower onto full blast as he slid inside, well aware that if he made Aaron late for work he’d be in his bad books for a while and Cain's for that matter, and considering he had been there before he wasn't planning on returning anytime soon if he could help himself. Even so, he wanted to spend the journey to work having a chat to him no matter what. 

 

 

 

Robert spent barely ten minutes in the shower, drying himself off quickly and making his way into the living room with the towel wrapped loosely around his waist, coughing gently to make Aaron aware of his presence who looked up from where he was getting ready for work, grabbing his phone from the side, eyes almost dropping out of their sockets and through the opposite side of him when he saw Robert, dripping wet with nothing more than a towel on.

 

It's nothing that he hadn't seen before, but he was just gorgeous. 

 

“You alright m-mate, missing your clothes?” he asked, trying to stay calm but his voice gave him away, cracking halfway through his sentence. 

 

“See something you like?” 

 

“Rob, I’m _gay_... whip that much skin out and I’m gonna be gawping at most people” Aaron joked, running a palm through his beard, trying to make his brain concentrate on anything other than the site in front of him, finding his own joke overly funny.

 

The laugh that filled the room caused Roberts face to light up, loving to hear such a sound coming from the younger man. It was nice to see him so happy, something that he wasn’t sure he had been at the start of their friendship. 

 

“I love it when you laugh like that” he whispered, picking up a shirt from the clean washing pile on the side and beginning to do it up, comfortable in getting dressedin front of Aaron, it wasn’t the first or even thirtieth time that he had done so, and he couldn’t be more comfortable in front of anybody else. 

 

“Good” he whispered “I like being around you, you make me happy” his voice soft like he was telling a secret.He really wanted to kiss him. He could imagine it in his mind and even then he felt like he was spinning 

 

“Rob” he whispered, his eyes darting between his lips and back up to his eyes, his own tongue coming out to wet his lips, his hands shaking slightly as he started to approach him. “I-I” He was millimetres from Roberts' face, from his lips, so close he could feel the heat radiating off of him. 

 

Robert watches him carefully. “Aaron, you’re gonna be late” he snapped, the sheer volume of his own voice shocking him, covering his mouth andshaking his head before he whispered, “We’ve got to get to work” 

 

He regretted it straight away, his heart thumping at a million miles an hour out of his chest. “Aaron wait!” he shouted, shaking his head as Aaron ran out the door. 

 

“Shit”. 

 

He couldn’t believe he’d been such an idiot. He wasn’t gay though, there was no way,they were just friends, but if that was the case, why did he feel like he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life in not kissing Aaron? 

 

Sighing deeply he ran his hands through his hair, doing the first thing he could think of,going to work, blonde hair still flat against his head, hands trembling a little with worry.

 

 

 

“Rob? Sugden?”

 

 

Robert suddenly snapped out of whatever trance he had been in and opened his eyes, he could barely remember arriving to work, let alone being in on this meeting, surrounded by the majority of his collegues. 

 

“Sorry? What did I miss, I didn’t have a proper nights sleep last night” he lied, shaking his head and feigning a yawn. “I’m absolutely shattered”. 

 

“We were just discussing the new business contract that we’re expecting you all to sign, pay attention” he was told sternly, though he was already off topic, thinking about the morning he’d just had. 

 

He didn’t love Aaron, there was no way he did. They were nothing more than just best friends, so why did he feel like _this_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh this is the longest chapter ive done so far and i think it might be my favourite so i hope you all like it!


	5. chapter five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please keep in mind that this is just a filler chapter! im working on a big one to hopefully be up tomorrow or the day after but i needed something to bridge the two together and i thought it would be nice to show some of the familial relationships, dunno why i chose cain tbf, but i hope you like it anyway x

"Fuck! fuck fuck fuck!" Aaron had never felt so stupid. He made it to work, albeit far later than he was supposed to arrive, though similarly to Robert he felt as though he was floating above ground for the whole day, not paying any attention to anything he was doing. He knew that if he was honest with himself there probably wasn't even a point in coming in that day and he should have rung in and taken a day off - but he couldn't bear to go home and be faced with Robert and the awkward conversation that would inevitably lie ahead of them.

It was obvious that Cain had picked up on his awful mood but he had let it slide, obviously being able to tell that Aaron was having more than just a bad day and there was no need to pester him anymore when he was barely holding up as it was, though by lunchtime he had had enough. 

"Aaron mate, you've sworn at just about every fucking customer that's walked in here and nearly thrown those bloody tools at my head on more than one occasion, so please, for the love of god will you just tell me what is going on?."

The break in the silence of the garage, caused Aaron to jump a bit. He was always restless like this when he was in a bad mood, and he didn't particularly want to talk about it either, but he knew his uncle wouldn't let it go no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.

"Robert" he muttered, exhaling heavily as he looked up at Cain, his uncle waiting patiently for him to carry on.

"Yeah and? What about him?

Aaron explained the situation slowly, he wasn't usually one to open up to Cain, would tell his Mum if he had a burning issue, more likely Robert, but all in all nine times out of ten kept most of his issues to himself. That was his downfall. 

"So yeah, basically I went in for it with him and I know he's got a g-girlfriend and I-I-I-I know that but I just... I don't know why I thought it was a good idea and now...well, now he's gonna hate me for it and he's my best mate and I-" he gasped for breath at the end of the sentence, wiping away the tears that previously he hadn't even realised had fallen, looking up at Cain with not a clue in the world what to do. 

Cain, for once, gave Aaron a considerate smile and bundled him into his arms, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort his nephew. 

"It's gonna be ok" he told him, knowing that if anybody, Aaron was the one that always needed to be comforted if the opportunity was to arise, and Cain as much as anybody would do anything he could to make sure that Aaron didn't end up in as much of a state as he had been a couple of years ago. 

"You know he loves you no matter what Aaron, you'd be a right stupid idiot if you didn't see it, everyone around here reckons the both of you are clueless to what's in front of you anyway"

"That's not true! He's with Chrissie and, a-and he'd never want me anyway, look at me..." he mumbled, sniffling through the tears as they continued to fall, he wasn't even holding them back anymore, having turned into the big blubbery mess that when he was younger he would have hated himself for being.

"He loves you Aaron" Cain repeated, more genuine about this than he had been about anything else before. "He would hate to see you like this and all.." 

Running a hand through his beard and wiping his tears with the back of his overalls sleeve, Aaron just shrugged 

"Go home, go see him" Cain said softly, Aaron nodding. "But I swear to God, if you hit me with one of my tools again, you won't hear the end of it Dingle!"


	6. chapter six

By the time Robert had finally made his way back home, bleary-eyed from tiredness and a day full of half-arsed meetings, Aaron was already in bed, or he could assume that from the way the apartment had been left, keys in the little bowl on the side as they always are, lights switched down to the lowest setting (because Aaron knew that bright lights would hurt Rob’s eyes when he came in from a long day at work) - a note on the side of the kitchens work surface, written on a bright pink post-it note. “Sorry for being an idiot, Love you Rob, A x” with a little smiley face doodled in below all of the words. 

It made Robert’s heart jump in his chest, and warmth to spread throughout his body - but at the same time he only felt more guilty than he had done before. How could Aaron think that this had been all his fault when the whole time he had been the one to start shouting at him and interrupt a kiss. 

“Aaron? he called out in a whisper, though not knowing what he expected when then the house was silent, the ticking of the clock the only thing filling the otherwise empty room of sound.

He looked around for a while, kicking his shoes off and using one hand to place them in the shoe rack, laughing to himself as he thought about the time he’d argued with Aaron over having his muddy work shoes all over the light wood floor and smiled as the same shoe rack had arrived the next day. He really hoped he hadn’t ruined their friendship by being an absolute almighty arsehole. 

He bit his lip and ran his hand through his hair, walking into his bedroom, but looking in through the crack of the door, smiling when he saw Aaron sound asleep in his bed. “Goodnight” he whispered, biting his lip. 

Robert couldn’t sleep all night, tossing and turning constantly as he tried to get comfortable, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he had upset Aaron earlier, finally giving up and getting out of bed, and making his way out of his room, knocking softly on the door of Aaron’s bedroom, though when he didn’t get an answer, softly pushed the door open and made his way inside, climbing into Aaron’s bed beside him, wrapping his arms around his side, smiling when he felt the man cuddle closer into him subconsciously. His face pressed into the space in Aaron’s neck. “Goodnight gorgeous” he whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek, slowly falling asleep next to him, curled up under the covers. Somehow it didn't feel so wrong in the middle of the night, curled up close, but that didn't take away from the niggling in the back of Robert's brain, telling him that he wasn't gay, he had Chrissie, and she was more than enough, but for now he just pushed the thoughts back, letting himself fall asleep next to Aaron. 

Aaron woke up in the middle of the night, almost jumping out of his skin when he found the man next to him, his eyes still red-rimmed and a little swollen from where he had been crying, but he felt comforted in the warmth that he felt from having Rob wrapped around him, content in the idea of them sleeping in the same bed, something that they used to do quite regularly when they were younger. 

Especially in his mid-teens, Aaron used to climb in through Roberts window in the early evenings, sitting with him for hours in the older boys bedroom until the sun would go down, not meant to fall asleep with him but he always would - talking for hours about anything that was on either of their minds. "I'm gay, Rob" he whispered to his best friend once, tears more than threatening to fall down his cheeks, they'd only been friends for about a year, but he was the only person Aaron trusted enough to open up to, despite being terrified that he could lose him. 

"I know" was the only answer he got back, feeling like the entire world had been lifted off of his shoulders. "It's okay Aaron, I promise you" 

Aaron smiled, falling asleep in Robert's arms, happy in the fact that at least one person knew him in all entirety.

From that day onwards, they really had been inseparable and slept in each other's beds with any chance they were given. That was, of course until Robert started getting semi-serious girlfriends that would stay over for more than a few nights here and there, Aaron was more likely to sleep in his own room, just an odd day here and there where one or the other would slip into a bedroom that wasn't theirs, curling up into the comfort of the other man. 

This was nice, something that Aaron hadn't been used to for a while - now instead of beds, it was usually a quick cuddle on the sofa in front of whatever absolute shite Robert had convinced Aaron into letting him watch on the telly after work, so he took advantage of it, choosing against waking Robert up and kicking him out in favour of sleeping in separate beds and instead pulled the man impossibly closer, taking in every moment of this because he was sure when the sun rose and Robert woke up he would be up and out as quickly as possible. 

Robert slept better than he had done in months whilst in bed with Aaron, though the bubble was burst when they both woke up, with the sound of birds and the bright sunlight filtering through the curtains and onto their faces - an awkward silence quickly engulfing the room when they both remembered the actions from the previous day, choosing to lay in awkward silence for what felt like hours until it was broken by a soft voice. 

"I really, I really do want to kiss you" Robert admitted, worry spreading quickly across his features, as he watched for a reaction.

"Then why don't you?" 

It was quiet, but for once in his life, Aaron was sure of himself and sure that this wasn't just what he had wanted for so long, but what Robert wanted too.

"I'm just not gay, I've got Chrissie...I just.. I don't know what this is..."

"Maybe just try it?" Aaron dared to ask, a smirk darting across his lips. "I won't tell your precious girlfriend, don't worry"

He couldn't believe his luck as he watched Robert begin to move closer to him in the bed, foreheads pressed together as they looked up at each other, Aaron hoped that maybe this could be it, and then, all of a sudden, there he was.

Robert was kissing him, and Aaron felt like he was floating, his head spinning with excitement as he leant into it. He felt like he had found his place as his lips moved against Robert's, a fire alighting through his body as he went to move on top of him, legs either side of each other, before he was abruptly stopped, pushed back with such force that he had to stop himself from hitting the other end of the bed.

"What the fuck Rob?"   
"I can't do it... I told you! I'm not fucking gay Aaron!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for teasing! we'll get there soon enough, but robert still has a girlfriend and i've still got a lot of story to tell ;)


	7. chapter seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there might be some typos in this because i’ve done it on my phone!! i’ll come back and fix it later but i love his chapter and wanted to get it out !!

Days passed and Aaron couldn’t bear having to go home to Robert all the time after what had happened between them. over the last week or so, they’d barely spoken, trying to keep it how it used to be, but it was hard for Aaron to even be civil with Robert after all that had happened, he felt nothing more than played by the way Robert had treated him - even if they weren’t going to be together, they were best friends and Robert was just playing with his heart when Aaron was sure Robert was well aware of how he felt about him. 

He spent the days (and nights) going between the pub and any clubs that he could find, drinking his sorrows away with anything that he could buy - or get bought for him. every night bringing a new man home. He hadn’t had anyone in his bed for a very long time, so bringing this many back at once was something he wasn’t usually used to, hoping that a quick shag - or a few, would help him to get over Robert and get a man that could never have right out of his system. Monday was almost turning into Tuesday when Aaron decided to bring George home for the night, dragging him in through the front door, barely breaking away from a kiss, laughing loudly and falling over his own feet with intoxication, not even acknowledging the fact that Robert and Chrissie were sat on the sofa watching tv. if he was sober, he’d probably be more bothered, but the drink clouded his thoughts. “You wanna go to bed?” he slurred into this mans neck, all blonde hair and blue eyes, looking suspiciously like Robert. 

“Aaron?” Robert questioned as the door opened. he’d been worrying about the man since they’d argued last week, and despite pulling away from the kiss, no matter what, he always tried to have Aaron's best interest at heart. “Aaron!” he repeated, slightly louder when he didn’t get a response, watching Aaron's tongue in this other man’s mouth, shaking his head as he looked over at Chrissie, trying not to look as bothered as he felt. 

“Sorry, hope we don’t bother you too much, we’ll try not to keep you both awake” Aaron smirked, kicking the door of his bedroom shut with his foot, the sounds echoing through into the front room where Robert was sitting. 

“I can’t even count how many men he’s brought back in this last week Chriss” Robert groaned, looking over at his girlfriend with his head lowered in his hands. “Don’t think he’s ever had these many men back since we’ve moved in, let alone in a week!” 

“Why are you so bothered?” Chrissie laughed, kicking her feet over the coffee table in front of them.

“I’m not bothered... I-I just doesn’t understand how he’s... it’s not Aaron at all” 

There was no way he could tell Chrissie what was actually on his mind, especially not telling her about the kiss that had happened between the two of them only days previously. 

“Sounds like you’re jealous to me” Chrissie continued to tease, her hand rising up Roberts jeans and nearer to his thigh, slowly making its way further and further up. 

“Don’t worry about him” she said, her head tilting to address the constant stream of noise that was now seemingly coming from Aaron's bedroom. 

“You know we can put them to shame” she winked, one hand now hovering over Robert’s crotch. 

Robert hadn't heard any of it, not focusing on the words coming from Chrissie’s mouth, instead all he could hear were Aaron's moans in the back of his mind, trying not to focus on them but he didn’t seem to have much of a choice, as they were ringing in his ears constantly.

“Get off me!” he snapped, jumping up away from Chrissie and moving her hand away from him, the thought of the woman’s hands on him doing nothing more than making his skin crawl. when she giggled and didn’t move, Robert began to to to get angry, flushing in the cheeks, shaking his head. “For fuck sake Chriss, I said get off me!” 

“Oh my God” she whispered, standing up from the sofa so she was opposite Robert shaking her head in disbelief.

“Oh my God, it makes sense!”.

Robert shook his head, having calmed down remotely, standing across from Chrissie and trying not to meet her eyes, knowing that he’d easily give the game away if he was to do anything less. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice cracking. he’d never told anybody anything like this about Aaron in his life, and he knew, when standing there that Chrissie had sussed him out straight away. 

“It’s so obvious! You’re so jealous Rob!” she said, looking down at her feet and then back up at her boyfriend. “Have you been...do you..?” she asked, gesturing with her hands in a way that made Robert blush. 

“No! I don’t know what you’re on about, he’s my best mate, why would I touch him.. l-like that?” he asked, trying to laugh like it was a joke, but it just came out like a pathetic hum of a noise. 

“Do you think I’m that stupid Rob?” she asked the comedic tone that had resided in her voice previously being replaced with a sad and soft whisper, clearly upset by the situation that she had puzzled together in her mind.

“It’s so obvious, everyone told me before we got together and I didn’t believe them. they all told me that- that you loved each other” she wiped her tears as they began to fall, shaking her head as she quickly wiped them away. “ I said to them that, I said... that if you loved each other you’d be together already, and..” she sighed heavily, shrugging.

“You love him, Rob, I’ve seen it for ages and I denied it myself, but you’re jealous as anything” she smiled weakly, reaching forward and caressing his cheek sweetly. “

Go after him, if that’s what you want”

Robert was more shocked than anything, he couldn’t believe that after everything she was still so sweet about it, even if he couldn’t believe himself that he was in love with Aaron, but after this, maybe it was worth giving it ago. 

“Do you really think so?” he asked, his heart pounding in his chest. he hadn’t come out to anybody before, and honestly, he would still believe he was straight if it wasn’t for the butterflies he gets in his stomach from even just looking at Aaron or hearing someone speak about him. 

“I'm not gay” he repeated. 

“Gay, straight..anything else you might not be Rob, but everybody around you knows that you love Aaron” she smiled, sliding her shoes back on and grabbing her coat from over the arm of the sofa. 

“Go get your man” 

Robert smiled softly and kissed her on the cheek, not really knowing what to say. 

“I’m sorry” he whispered, biting his lip. 

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t want to.. keep you apart, but I’d give it a couple of minutes if it were you” gesturing over to Aaron's bedroom with a laugh. 

Chrissie left with a kind smile, shutting the door behind her, wiping the tears from her eyes quickly. she loved Robert, but at the same time knew it was for the best, despite the fact it had all happened so quickly, knowing it was for the best. 

Robert was left alone, listening to Aaron and the stupid blonde in his bedroom, laying back on the sofa. he had to figure out what to do, and quickly before he ended up having to listen to this, every day for the rest of his life.


	8. chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeee we really are getting there with this aren't we! ive had a few people comment and say that they want me to continue this so im thinking about doing that - i never thought id get this much response so thank u all for ur lovely comments :)) 
> 
> hope you like this chapter x

Robert didn't bother moving from the coach to go to bed that night as he would one hundred per cent rather be as far away from Aaron and his busy bedroom as possible, trying to block out the constant babble of noise that was coming from the room. 

He didn't know how he was feeling, or even what was going on in his brain, the only way he could think to fix anything was to see Aaron, and if he was going, to be honest with himself, he was certain that it wasn't the best idea to go knocking for him now, unless he wanted to catch his best mate in a more than compromising position. It all just seemed so surreal to him, everything that had happened with Aaron over the last week, even how in just a day he had broken up with Chrissie and it had all happened so quickly, even weirder so, he didn't even feel upset about it. 

Robert was drifting into a light sleep when he heard Aaron's door creak open, seeing the blonde man approach from inside and move towards the front door, buckling up his belt and nodding towards Robert. 

"Good shag isn't he?" the blonde smirked, winking in Robert's direction with a kind of arrogance and slimy nature that made his stomach turn, sickness rising within him at the thought of Aaron having slept with someone like that. 

"Wouldn't know mate" he shot back, rolling his eyes in annoyance, hoping this 'George' or whatever his name was, would get the picture clear in his mind and leave as soon as possible, Robert wasn't sure how much more of him he would be able to take and he'd barely heard two words fall from the man's mouth.  
"You can't be that great though, considering you're on your way home and it's barely what? Two in the morning? Good one mate, now fuck off!"

The man laughed, shaking his head in disbelief before making his way out of the front door and slamming it shut loudly enough that Robert almost jumped out of his skin. 

That was it, he could feel it in every shred his body. He was jealous, green-eyed monster, wanting to stop anybody that came in the way of himself and Aaron jealous. He might not be gay, but he definitely wanted Aaron, and anybody that knew Robert, knew that he was the Sugden that always got anything he wanted, no matter what. Aaron was without a doubt what he wanted. He didn't know how, but he was going to get him even if it ended up killing him in the process. 

 

Aaron woke the next morning feeling tired, grimy and if anything a little bit lonely, no matter how much he wished they had, his string of one night stands had done nothing to diminish the feelings that he had for Robert, and if anything, each man he slept with proved why he wanted the other one so badly, though despite everything, he was still annoyed at the situation he'd been faced with - even if he did miss his nightly telly sessions with his best friend. 

After a lengthy shower, he made his way out into the kitchen, not being able to hold back a little smile when he saw Robert, all soft hair and tracksuit bottoms, bacon and sausages in a pan as he made the both of them breakfast. This was something the two of them hadn't done in ages, not that Aaron had seen Robert in the mornings for days anyway, always seeming to be out at work when the other finally arose from the long sleep after many late nights he had been having. 

"Smells nice, that" Aaron approached softly, not sure really what to say, and hoping the air between them wasn't tense, though he most certainly wasn't ready to forgive and forget with Robert entirely just yet, he did want to clear the air and go back to the comfortable nature he had been able to have with his best friend around him twenty-four seven. 

"Yeah, well I, thought I'd make you breakfast" he smiled, placing the plate down gently on the table. "Thought you might need it after last night, and well... if you'll let me- I, I wanna say sorry for being such a dick.. again."

"You're not a dick Rob" Aaron offered with a smile, tucking into the full English that had been placed in front of him. "If anybody is, as much as I am annoyed at you, it's probably me...you can't have gotten much sleep with all the people I've had back here" he grimaced. 

Robert sighed heavily, preparing himself to speak as he sat at the chair across from Aaron. 

"About that...I uh, I wanted to talk to you about something, about your relationships and I..." 

"Spit it out Rob, not all of us have a whole day to waste" Aaron teased, though he reached out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze, moving it away again after a few seconds.

"I just- I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day because I know we haven't mentioned it and I just feel-" 

"Don't worry, I know kissing me was the worst thing you've ever done!" Aaron teased, shaking his head as he took a sip of his tea. "You don't need to ask me, Rob, I've told you before you can trust me, I won't say a word to anyone! Rob who? Kiss, what?" he joked, though in entire sincerity.  
He had decided when he woke up this morning that this whole Robert situation wasn't worth getting hung up on and he would much rather find different relationship prospects and keep his best friend, rather than risk losing Robert for a few kisses here and there, even if the blonde man still made his heart skip and his palms sweat everytime he so much as looked in Aaron's direction. 

"Aaron, would you just...its not about that, well..not really" he sighed, he just didn't have a clue how to get the words out properly without Aaron thinking he was going mad - and that's the last thing he wanted, just wishing he would shut up and listen, but this was Aaron they were talking about. 

"Rob, calm down, you're not making any sense, this is me..." Aaron sighed, trying to give the reassurance Robert needed to tell him what he wanted. 

"Me and Chrissie,... we broke up"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually cba i was meant to leave posting this chapter until the morning but i have atleast another one written that ill be able to get up in the morning so if any of u are awake, enjoy xxxx


	9. chapter nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u like it! a lot of people have been commenting after i asked, saying that they prefer longer less frequent chapters, so please let me know! i think this one is quite a bit longer though :)

Aaron would have spat his drink out everywhere if he had happened to have been taking a sip at that very moment, but luckily for him and the state of Robert's chest, he had swallowed with just enough time before the sentence had been started. 

"You and Chrissie have what!?" He really couldn't believe what he was hearing and from the horse's mouth as well, only a couple of weeks ago would this have been music to Aaron's ears, and what he had been waiting for, for what seemed like years in the making, but today, on the mundane weekday morning, he didn't know how to take it. 

Robert had seemed happy with Chrissie, happier than Aaron had seen him in any relationship - or even just fling, for a very long time, and no matter how much that hurt him from the inside out, he guessed that Rob would be at least a little bit gutted by the news, putting on the most genuine sensitive smile he could muster up at this time in the morning and looking back up at Robert. 

"Why the fuck did she break up with you?" he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion because as much as his despair about the situation was false, it did confuse him when the relationship from an outsiders perspective seemed to be going so amazingly well - for a 'Robert Sugden Relationship' anyway. 

"She didn't, well..." Robert laughed, the anxiety he had been having about this conversation melting away for a minute, because the reaction he had received was just so fitting to Aaron, and that made him smile. 

The man could never see the worst in him, something that the rest of Robert's family and friends had always seemed to do from the moment he was born. Having Aaron always fighting his corner was refreshing, and it was one of the things that made him so comfortable in the others company. 

"Thanks for seeing the best in me and all that, but...I think it was kind of a mutual thing, and if it wasn't it was definitely my fault" he said with a shrug, not knowing how to approach Aaron with the next issue that he knew he would have to address sooner or later. 

"She realised... that I had feelings for somebody else I guess?" Robert tried, not used to having to approach people in this kind of situation, and this was worse than any of that, considering his best friend was on the other end of it all. 

"Oh, Christ! Rob, you've not cheated on her have you? Dirty bastard!" 

It was a teasing tone, no heat behind the words which caused Robert to laugh again, biting down on his lips as the nerves began to creep up on him again. How was he supposed to explain to Aaron all that had been going around in his head recently, when the truth of the matter was that he didn't even really get it himself. 

Growing up, and even to now sitting comfortably in his mid-twenties, Robert didn't have a doubt in his mind that he was straight - yes, he was friendly with Aaron in a way that most male friends probably wouldn't dare to be, but he'd always just told himself that was because he was a family friend, they had known each other for so long that it would be weird if they weren't comfortable in each other's company, though the niggle in the back of his mind did keep reminding him that even when Aaron was friends with Vic and he wasn't really in the picture - too busy with school, that they never really were as close as he was to Aaron now. It was never something they had ever spoken about - but now, seeing it from a different perspective, maybe there was something between the two men, even years ago. 

"I mean, no...unless that kiss counts?" he laughed softly, trying to approach the subject carefully, watching Aaron's features in an attempt to gauge his reaction. 

Aaron stopped in his tracks, looking down at his hands and beginning to fiddle with his fingers. "Ours?" he asked, falling quiet again. He was out, and there was nothing personally that worried him about the couple of kisses he had shared with Robert, but he found it so difficult approaching him because he didn't want to ruin it and have the man run off again like he had done before. 

"Yeah, ours..."  
"You broke up with Chrissie because you kissed me?

"You could say that I guess" Robert mumbled, reaching a hand out to take Aaron's, squeezing it tightly. 

"I don't know what I'm feeling, but I- there's something about you Aaron, and I'm not saying we should... I don't know, but I just.. you've made me realise these last few days that I can't risk losing you to someone else without even acknowledging that there's something there...I want to give it a chance"

Hearing these words coming from Robert had been the only thing Aaron had wanted to hear from the moment they met, but it just didn't sit right with him, pulling his hand away from Robert's grasp with a heavy sigh. 

"Rob, you can't put me in this situation!" He huffed, having to fight against himself to do anything other than grabbing Robert and kissing him until his lips felt like they were falling off.

"You know I want nothing more than to..." stopping himself in his tracks, Aaron stood up, walking around the table so he was standing next to Robert, holding his hands. "I've wanted to be with you since we were fucking, what... fifteen?" he questioned with a soft smile, squeezing both of Robert's hands, moving until he was cuddling into his chest. "You're just doing this because you think its the right thing to do, and...you've done this so many times before, Rob" not being able to help the sigh that escaped, Aaron continued. "I love you, Rob, I do, but I would so much rather have you as my best friend than nothing at all, and at the moment, I know you don't have a clue what you want"

Robert stayed quiet, wrapping his arms around Aaron when the other did the same. 

"I need you to look after yourself before you decide you suddenly want me," Aaron told him sternly, not being able to help himself though, as he cuddled into Robert's chest, comforted by the warmth that he always radiated. "If you still want me, after all this blows over if you decide that - you've got me, Robert, you always will have me...but I can't have you fucking about with me again." 

 

With nothing else to do, Robert agreed.

 

They sat in comfortable silence for an hour, Aaron pressed into Robert's side as he always was, playing with the blonde's fingers as he mindlessly watched what was playing on TV, nothing really changing between the two of them, it never did, but now there was a slight but constant but constant tension floating in the air when the two were in the room together. Aaron wanted him and that much was obvious, but he was more than proud of himself for sticking his ground and waiting it out, knowing that it would be for the best.

Robert jumped up at the end of the programme they had been watching with nothing more than a rushed kiss to Aaron's forehead he made his way out of the door. "I'm gonna go and see Vic, I'll see you tonight," he told him, grabbing his phone off the side and coat from the hook by the door, calling out "Love ya, Dingle" as the door slammed shut.

Aaron smiled to himself, confident in the fact that Robert would go and see his sister and she would make sure to cheer him up. 

Deciding he would go out himself too, hating to be sat at home in the silence without Robert there with him, he sent Victoria a quick text; 

'Look after Rob, he's on his way' 

As much as he knew that, yes, he would be perfectly fine, Aaron couldn't help but worry about Robert, especially after the day that he must have had. It would have taken a lot of confidence to say what he had been told today, and he knew that would whack Robert out for the count, probably going to confide in his sister for the bit of reassurance that he wouldn't be able to find elsewhere. Aaron was so glad Robert had Victoria.

Making his way out the door and locking it behind him, Aaron chose to find his way to the pub to go and visit Chas, though his Mum had never been Robert's biggest fan, she always knew what Aaron needed, and how to make him see sense, something he was sure was clouded right about now.

Chas was more than happy to see her son, greeting him with loud words and open arms when he walked through the doors to the pub. He saw her more than often, but it didn't stop Aaron being so happy with such a greeting. 

"Hey darling, you want a pint?" she offered, her expression turning to concern when Aaron shook his head, Paddy quickly telling her to calm down as she ran through all the situations in her head that could have possibly gone wrong, though out loud for everybody to hear.

Shaking his head, Aaron laughed at her worry, though secretly more than thankful, knowing that both his mum and Paddy would always have his back. 

"Nah, I'm good...Mum, can we- it's about Rob, can we talk in the back?"

At the same time, Robert had just walked over to Vic's, stopping at David's shop to pick up a bottle of vodka on the way, because God knows he needed it, knocking three times consistently on the handle before waiting outside for his sister to let him inside. 

"Hey, lover boy told me you were on your way" she winked, obviously unaware to everything that had been happening between the two.   
"I'm just surprised you could peel yourself away from Aaron for long enough to come and visit without him, that hasn't happened since..." Victoria's voice trailing off as her eyes clocked the large bottle that Robert had clasped in his left hand. 

"Must be serious" she teased, before dropping it, "Come in Rob, What's up?"


	10. chapter ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit shit but i got excited about the next and wanted to whack the two of them up at similar times!! here we go!

The backroom of the pub never seemed to change and it was somewhere that Aaron always felt comfortable, even though he hadn't actually lived there for very long when he was younger, sitting back with ease on the couch and throwing his feet up on the coffee table that sat in front of it. 

"Feet off!" Chas scolded, shaking her head fondly at her son as she sat next to him, a hand coming to rest on his knee. "So, Sugden's been messing you about again then?" she asked, almost immediately replacing her relaxed features with what Aaron liked to tell the woman was her 'mum face' 

"No! I don't understand how you can always see the worst in him!" Aaron complained, rolling his eyes as he sighed in frustration, "He's my best friend Mum, you're gonna have to let it slide at some time"

Aaron didn't hold his breath waiting for that, in fact, he couldn't recall any time in his life that Chas and Robert had gotten on, and he didn't see anything changing anytime soon, he was just relieved that the two of them could be civil now and sit in a room together without actively starting an argument as there was definitely a time in Aaron's life where he had to keep his family and Robert extremely separate, probably one of the reasons that he was so close to all the Sugdens today anyway. He loved his mum and the rest of the Dingles, of course, he did but there was definitely a strain on his relationship with Chas, because of his close friendship with Robert.

As Aaron sat and explained the situation to Chas, across the village Robert might as well have been doing the exact same thing, except of course, with Victoria and the addition with an overly large bottle of vodka that he was very quickly making his way through, barely giving his sister a look in. 

"Stop drowning yourself in that bottle, it's not going to get you anywhere is it?" 

Over the last half an hour Robert had given his sister a messy rundown of events, all whilst drinking, groaning and crying, with Victoria sat there doing her very best to try and give Robert some sound advice. 

"Look, I don't know what's happened between you and Aaron recently, but whatever it is you both need to sort yourselves out, I'm not having it, you're my brother, and believe it or not, your best mate is also my best mate, which annoyingly means that I can't choose sides either way"

Robert laughed and rolled his eyes, Victoria always found a way to try and cheer him up, even in the most awkward of situations like today, stroking her hand before grabbing the TV remote and turning it on. 

"I don't know what's going on with me" he admitted, through the sounds of the news playing softly in the background of the conversation. 

"This whole time, my whole life, I've thought I was straight, I really honestly have, believed I was straight" the alcohol turning him tipsy and making him slightly trip up and repeat his words, though at that moment, glad that he could take his alcohol, knowing that this was the best time to have this kind of conversation, and probably the only time that he would be able to gain the confidence in order to do so. 

Victoria nodded along, she could sense that this was something that Robert needed to get out of his system, just offering comforting smiles and nods of approval when she thought it was necessary, not wanting to interrupt him and risk ending this conversation altogether.

"I-I don't think I am Vic" he whispered, voice breaking with nerves, a thin sheen of sweat becoming obvious over his body as he began to fidget. "I've been thinking about it and- and, I've never felt this way about anybody Vic, I didn't even really think, I didn't think that this was even a feeling you could have about anybody? Love, it's never been my thing has it?" 

Vic laughed softly, shrugging, "I guess not."

"This whole time, I thought I was just, never meant to settle down, I thought, maybe that... that's not what life had planned out for me or? Maybe I just wasn't supposed to be happy Vic, because...I've always felt like there was something missing" he pointed to his heart, eyes beginning to well up with a stream of tears. "But I don't think that's the case anymore, these last few weeks, months... it's all seemed clearer to me and, It's Aaron, Victoria, that's what's missing, and it all makes sense now" he nodded, sniffling slightly as he attempted to brush his tears away. 

"I'm bisexual" he admitted finally, exhaling deeply as he looked towards his sister, waiting for the negative reaction he had built up and prepared for in his head for what had begun to feel like his entire life. It never came, however, instead just a comforting smile and a big hug from his little sister, It was all that Robert had needed and more. Acceptance. 

"Maybe Aaron's birthday present can be you then?" Vic laughed, meaning she got a slap on the arm and a wet laugh coming from Robert as he hugged her. "Not like it hasn't taken the two of you long enough, eh?"


	11. chapter eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh! this is my fav so far im not gonna lie to u xx

Aaron’s twenty-fourth birthday came around quickly after that, himself and Robert stuck in the awkward limbo between the comfortable best friends they had always been, and the awakes balance of waiting for one of them to lose their cool and just go for it with the other now that they knew that they were on the same page, despite Aaron having told Robert that he would happily wait for him. 

They’d decided to have a small gathering in the pub, inviting all the Sugdens and the Dingles celebrate with them deciding that they could celebrate alone afterwards and go for a meal at the weekend, able to spend some time alone. 

Getting ready, Aaron was happy - he never used to enjoy birthdays before Robert was in the picture, but having him there seemed to make the days so much better. “Do I look alright?” he asked with a smile, “I borrowed one of your shirts, thought Mum would kill me if I turned up in my overalls” he laughed, coming out from the bedroom and standing in front of Robert. 

“Alright?” Robert asked, having to brace himself for his jaw not to drop to the floor. “Fuck...uh, yeah” he blushed, adjusting his jacket and walking towards Aaron. “Happy birthday, gorgeous”. The nickname he had always used for Aaron didn’t even drop for a second, through their arguments and everything, it still ended every sentence that Robert would direct towards Aaron. 

“Nice to know you’re still a flirt, cocky”   
“Only for you”   
“Nice to know” 

“Come on, stop looking at me like that and hurry up” Aaron grinned, grabbing Robert’s hand and making his way out the door with him. “Gotta pretend to be my plus one haven’t you” he teased, watching as the man’s eyes quickly darted up and down his frame, making him blush. “Not that you need to pretend, stop looking at me like that!” he gasped playfully, slowly letting go of Robert’s hand as they walked along to the pub. “Do it in front of my Mum and I can promise you, it’ll be the last time you see anything, she’ll rip your eyes out!” 

 

Opening the door, the building vibrated with shouts of “Happy Birthday Aaron!” - he hated the attention he’d get from everyone, even on days where it was supposed to be all about him, shyly moving his face into Robert’s shoulder with a soft laugh. “Thanks, everyone” he mumbled, muffled with his voice against the suit jacket. 

“I hate this” he mumbled to Robert, slowly nursing through the pint in front of him, having not left the blonde's side for the whole night. “Would dive out if it wasn’t for all this effort” he whispered, gesturing around to the pub full of people that had come out just to celebrate him. 

“Don’t forget the free drinks” Chas laughed, walking past them quickly. “I hope you’re having a good day love” 

He nodded towards his Mum, catching Adam in the corner of his eye, gesturing him over and hearing his laughter ring through his ears. “Oi, Rob stay here a second yeah, I’m just gonna go and see what Adam wants...”

He was sat at the table alone when Aaron finally approached him, having convinced Robert to go and speak to the others. 

“You alright mate?” he asked, sitting beside Adam. 

“Just wanted to know if you’ve shagged the fit blonde over there just yet mate, that’s all” smirking as Aaron began scanning the room, obviously not understanding what Adam was getting at. “You going mad mate?” he asked, cashing the other to start batting furiously at his arm, laughing loud enough that if the whole village hadn’t already been in the pub, Aaron was sure they would have been able to hear the laughter ringing through their own homes. 

“I’m talking about Rob, you dickhead, has your brain been in a scramble, or is it old age finally getting to you?” he asked, rolling his eyes at his friend. 

Aaron blushed, his face turning a vicious shade of pink. “He looks good, doesn’t he..” he finally admitted, his eyes moving between talking to Adam and watching Robert and whatever he was doing, having a laugh with some of the Dingles, for what seemed to Aaron like the very first time in his life. 

“Look at you mate! You’re all heart eyes! I can't believe you two haven’t done it yet if you’re asking me, I reckon you should see in your twenty-fourth year, with a certain Sugden in your bedroom” 

“We’ll see Ads, if you want him that bad I give you permission to go after him” he teased, shaking his head before lowering his voice, his tone becoming slightly more serious. “I reckon I’m ready though, I do...guess we’ll have to see how it goes” 

“Yesss mate! Get it!” Adam laughed, nodding his head in encouragement as Aaron winked and started walking off. 

“Guess I’ve gotta get back to my man then eh...?” 

 

Robert noticed Aaron had cheered up substantially when he returned to his rightful place at Robert’s side a few mere moments later. 

“Hey gorgeous” he smirked, pressing a kiss to the older man’s cheek as he sat down beside him, not moving his eyes away from their close proximity to his face. “I like your freckles” he admitted, an amateur attempt at flirting, wanting to hit himself for how shit it was. 

“Are you drunk?” was asked, though Robert didn’t make an attempt to move away, instead luxuriating in having Aaron so close to him, the man basically on top of him, may as well be sitting on his lap by now. 

“Bit tipsy, but I stick by my statement” he smiled, “And besides, I get away with it, it’s my birthday” 

“You know you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger, even when it’s not your birthday, don’t act like you don’t” 

“Yeah well, I reckon today’s a special day, Sugden”

“Oh yeah?” 

Aaron licked his lips, excusing himself from the table he had been sat around with Robert and a couple of his family members. 

“Think you should come with me, if you know what’s good for you” the little bit of alcohol buzzing through his veins as he pulled Robert through the back doors, wanting a little bit of privacy between the two of them. 

Robert followed happily, biting his lip as he watched Aaron walk in front of him. 

Aaron smiled up at Robert, his lip darting out to lick his lips with a smile. “You know, I think it’s about time I got a kiss, don’t you?” he whispered, moving forward to close the gap between the both of them, looking up at the man and waiting for a reaction. 

Robert stopped in his tracks, smiling as he realised what Aaron had begun to do. 

“Oh yeah?”   
“I think I’ve waited long enough Mr Sugden” 

Robert laughed, moving in closer to Aaron until he could feel his breath against his skin. 

“I think you may have, Mr Dingle..”

Robert’s lips brushed against Aaron’s, not soft like they had done a few times previously, but instead with an intense promise hanging at the touch of the two, his hand moving up to cup Aaron’s face, brushing against his beard. 

“I think we should take this back home, don’t you, birthday boy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u all loved it :) might take me a few days to get the next couple of chapters up after this but i'll do my best x


	12. chapter twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m SO sorry that this has taken me so long to get up because i know a lot of you have responded so nicely to this fic and i’m so grateful. i think im back now ish, but ye, sorry for how long this took and also sorry if there’s any typos etc, i had to do this on my phone and it’s so much harder to check on there anyway! hope you like this xxx

Robert had never been happier about getting back to the house, his lips barely leaving Aaron’s from the moment that they slammed and locked the door shut behind them and within seconds, they were pulling at each other's clothes, Robert’s suit jacket left sprawled somewhere across their kitchen floor. 

“Fuck, Rob I want you” Aaron breathed, biting down at his swollen lips. "I've waited long enough", licking and biting at the column of Robert's neck, as he pulled him impossibly closer.

Rob watched the swipe of Aaron's tongue across his neck and felt the heat of it all pooling within him. He was so gorgeous, so sexy and Robert had been waiting way too long for this to even attempt to be shy about any this.

"Bedroom, now..." Robert groaned, pulling away from Aaron for mere seconds to take hold of his hand and guide him into one of their bedrooms, barely taking the time to notice which one of their’s it was. 

Aaron nodded, a desperate sound falling from his lips as he clambered onto his bed, quickly stripping down to his boxers - anybody else and he would have kept as many clothes on as possible, but he trusted Robert implicitly. 

Rob climbed on top of the man quickly, trailing kisses down his naked torso before stripping away both sets of their underwear. "You're fucking gorgeous," he told the man breathlessly. 

"You don't know how long I've wanted this...with you” 

 

Falling down beside Aaron a while later, Robert couldn’t help but laugh. “You think that made up for it then?” he asked

“...Only took us a million years” . 

The younger man blushed and nodded slightly, moving his head so it was resting in the crook of Roberts' neck, but not before he grimaced at how covered in sweat they both were, despite continuing to move closer to Robert in order to cuddle into the other man’s side either way. 

“I think we made up for it” he agreed, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to the side of Robert’s mouth. 

“It also looks like twenty-four could be a very good year for me” Aaron whispered, continuing to press kisses to Robert’s face. 

There had never been a time where he had been this openly affectionate with any man that had found their way into his bed the previous night, but this was Robert. He wasn’t just anybody was he? 

“Do you think we need to shower...beautiful?” the words fell from Roberts' lips quietly after a short while of silence, not wanting to break the bubble that the two men had finally found themselves in after such a long time passively fighting it.

Aaron groaned and rolled over until he was laying on top of Robert, arms wrapped around him tightly.  
“We could, but...” he kissed the man, hands cupping his face as he did so.  
“We could also, stay right here, for just a little bit longer” 

“You, Mr Dingle, have some very smart ideas” he grinned, kissing Aaron back with every opportunity that he had. This was something he had been waiting for for as long as he could remember and there was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to kiss the other at every chance he had. “But...I stink, so i’m gonna get in the shower, I’m not expecting you to come with me though, lazy bones” he teased, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s forehead, unable to help himself, before he made his way into the bathroom. 

The minute Aaron heard the bathroom door shut and the water begin to run from the shower he grabbed his phone from the pocket of his trousers where they had been quickly discarded on the floor previously. Pulling the first shirt on that he found (coincidentally Robert’s) and a pair of boxers so he wouldn’t mentally scar his best friend for life - he picked up the phone and FaceTimed Adam. 

The noise of the ringing phone filled the room, water running in the background as be listened to Robert in the shower, distracted until something cut through the noises.

“Hey bro, are you alright?” Unmistakably Adam, before laughter filled the room loudly “Shit bro, is that not...Roberts shirt?” 

Aaron just laughed, directing a cheeky wink in the direction of the camera, sticking his tongue out to Adam.

“Could be...” he shrugged, before dropping the act altogether when he saw the desperation for all the details that was painted across his best mates facial features. 

“He’s in the shower...we, well... yeah?” 

“Don’t give me that! Am I not your best friend? Details?” 

“Christ Ad, you sound like we’re in school again!” Aaron tried to resist but carried on to tell Adam all about the evening that he had just had with Robert. 

“I’ve never had anyone, make me feel... that good” he admitted, biting down on his lip as he thought about it. “He does this thing with his -“ 

“Aaron!” Adam interrupted him with a shout, shaking his head, though nothing but fondly, knowing how much the two of them had been fighting this off for years, nothing but relieved that they had finally given in to one another. 

“I said I wanted details, I know, but I didn’t want you to recount the way Rob shagged you, explicitly, you can save that for Vic, because I’m certain that she’ll be all over it” he joked, shaking his head. 

“Nah, but I’m so happy for you two mate, and fucking relieved all of us unlucky fuckers won’t have to tiptoe around waiting for it anymore.”

“You think you’re happy?” Aaron asked, a pink blush forming over his cheeks. 

“Think this is the best birthday I’ve had, I’ll be honest” 

“Old age has made you go soft mate” 

“I think Robert can vouch for the opposite” Aaron teased, knowing the reaction he would get from Adam, and he wasn’t wrong in the slightest. 

“You’re fucking disgusting” Adam laughed. “I’m going to continue celebrating your birthday without you before you say something even viler and it’s stuck in my brain for eternity, proud of you, happy for you, love ya both” he grinned, ending the call abruptly. 

Aaron laughed to himself and put the phone down on the bedside cabinet, hearing the running water come to a stop, biting his lip in anticipation to see Robert. 

 

He had never felt like this before in his life, sure - he had been ’crushing’ on Robert for as long as he could remember, but they had managed to get into the routine of just being friends, or at least trying to be, but now, even the thought of Robert walking into the room had Aaron going wild, his heart beating quickly in his chest, and his skin flushing pink. 

He felt like he was a teenager again, crazy for a man he had just met, though these two had known each other years, to Aaron, and to his brain, this all felt brand new and he loved feeling like this. 

“Hey gorgeous” came the voice that snapped the younger man out of his thoughts, smiling up at him. 

“Hey” he whispered, “Missed you” 

“Absolute soppy git, I only went for a shower”

“Yeah well, haven’t had you all to myself like this have I?” Aaron whispered, going shy as his eyes darted across Roberts body, droplets of water falling down his chest, and a towel slung across his hips. 

Robert smiled, moving onto the bed and tapping Aaron’s chin with his fingers. 

“Maybe not, but I’ve always been yours, haven’t I?” he smiled, pressing a sweet kiss to the man's cheek. 

“Hmm” Aaron nodded “Think this could be the best birthday ever you know?” he told Robert, waiting for the man to pull on some underwear before he brought him back down onto the bed. It felt so odd, to be this soft and soppy around Robert - as much as they were close, they were never like this. 

“I’m glad, you deserve it”

“Yeah?”

Robert nodded, climbing back into bed next to where Aaron was, grabbing his hand. 

“Weird this init?” Aaron laughed, looking towards Robert and moving closer to his side gaining a shrug from the older man 

“I guess...reckon it’s been a long time coming though” he smirked, running a hand through Aaron’s hair before a comfortable silence fell upon the two boys once again, just luxuriating in each others company for the first time in a while. 

“I told Adam” Aaron broke the silence, with a cheeky grin over in Robert ’s direction. 

“Oh, you did?” 

“Said it was easier than having to go out and find someone tonight to make sure I got with someone on my birthday! Bit of a tradition init ” he laughed, as Robert pretended to be offended, knowing that Aaron was just teasing all the same. 

“If that was your reasoning I think I would have been half-naked in your bed a long time ago, in case you forgot, you were fourteen when we met, gorgeous” 

”Yeah well I was playing hard to get for ten years, wasn't I?”

”Dont think I'd quite call it that...”

Aaron laughed lightly before they were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing again, his mum on the other side of it, barely being able to accept the call before Chas was talking down the other side. 

“It’s your birthday and you’ve gone home before it’s even hit nine? Are you even a Dingle? Get yourself back here now!” she scolded, though still clearly joking, making Aaron feel warm and loved in a way that he very rarely did. 

“They’re missing me,” he told Robert. 

“Looks like you’re gonna have to share me with everyone for a bit longer...get a taste of your own medicine” he joked. 

“It’s what I’ve had to do for years with you, Sugden, share you with everyone that came through the door”. 

Robert rolled his eyes, pressing a sweet kiss to Aaron’s temple. ”You know that you never shared” he smiled. 

 

The two stood up at the same time after that, knowing that they couldn't keep Chas waiting unless they wanted all the Dingles showing up at their home in less than five minutes. Aaron promising his mum that he wouldn’t be long, but saying nothing else, knowing that Adam probably wouldn’t have kept his mouth shut and the news of the two getting together (finally) would be spread around the village in no time at all if he carried on the conversation. 

“Yeah Mum, we’re coming...yes, me and Rob..five minutes!” he laughed before putting the phone down, not remembering to change out of Robert’s shirt before the two men made their way out the door. 

They walked close together the entire way to the pub, clearly, the bubble the two of them had found themselves in hadn’t quite burst yet. Robert’s hand in the small of his back the entire way to the pub, before he stopped as Aaron caught his own appearance in the reflection of the window. 

“You have to be fucking joking!” he laughed, rolling his eyes before moving away so he was facing Robert, a finger pointing to a mark that was clearly forming on his skin.

“My neck! Are you fifteen?” he asked, amused more than anything. “Rob!”  
Robert just grinned, shrugging, 

“Couldn’t help myself” he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to Aaron’s cheek. “What you gonna do?” he winked, letting go of the man to open the door of the pub. 

“You absolute wanker...” 

“You love it”


	13. chapter thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you don’t mind me putting another chapter up so quickly! i’m loving writing this all over again :))

The bubble the two boys had been doing everything to keep themselves within was quickly burst from the moment that they walked into the Woolpack, full of what felt like the entire village some of them still celebrating Aaron’s birthday, even though he had left hours earlier, and others just in for a not so quiet drink. 

“Think I preferred just the two of us” Aaron whispered, leaning into Robert to whisper into his ear. “Bet Mum’s buzzing though, she’ll make a killing from this” 

Robert chuckled softly and pulled the boy close into his side as they walked over to the table where Chas was bringing over some drinks for Adam and some others, sliding into the spare seats next to their friends, both boys wearing a massive grin. 

“Aww! My boy, you made it! What were you up to that was so important that you left your own gathering for?” she asked, rolling her eyes at Aaron, though clearly all in jest, happy that her son was even having a good time, knowing that he hadn’t always enjoyed days like this and didn’t particularly like having all this attention on him, so he was dealing pretty well. 

Aaron was quickly pulled into a hug which he returned for a second before pulling away, watching how Adam was making faces at him across the table and already making eyes between him and Robert. 

“Robert was too busy giving him all his gifts, weren’t you mate?” Aaron winked, laughing loudly as he downed his beer, ready to start the next one. 

“Hmm, like the one on your neck angel?” Chas asked, sickly sweet as she shoved him away. 

Aaron couldn’t help but blush, shooting daggers at Robert. 

“I told you they’d notice, you absolute twat!” he laughed, not able to meet his Mum’s eyes. He knew there was no point in denying it, they were close enough as it was before without people making up rumours and speculating about them, so there was no way they would be able to keep it from their family and friends for that long. 

Adam’s laughter filled the room at the same time that Victoria gasped, shaking her head and standing from her seat to give her brother a hug. 

“No way!”

Robert smiled and kissed her cheek, shaking his head fondly at his sister and she got excited. 

“We’ve just shagged, it’s not like the wedding of the century is it Vic?” he laughed, throwing the words away before he could think about it, before catching Aaron’s face out of the corner of his eye, seeing how his smile had dropped within seconds. 

“Nice to know Rob” Aaron whispered, biting down on his lip as he made his way towards the bar to get himself a drink, exhaling heavily when he’d made his way out of everyone’s ear space. He’d known Robert long enough to know that a lot of the time he barely thought about his words, but for some reason, his words had cut deeper within him than Aaron thought they would. 

Robert followed him quicker than he thought his own legs would take him, though he knew that the two of them barely argued in the time they’d been friends, he’d refuse to have Aaron sad on his birthday, especially through fault of Robert’s own and he knew how sensitive Aaron could be, despite the fact that he liked to put up walls and pretend he was some kind of tough guy. 

He made his way up behind Aaron and snaked his arms tightly around his waist, pulling him into his chest and thus away from the edge of the bar. 

“Hey, gorgeous?”

“What do you want?” he mumbled.  
“I didn’t mean what I said, not like that, you know me...” 

Aaron shrugged. 

“Maybe you did, I dunno...do I?” 

“You, Mr Aaron Dingle, can be pretty thick sometimes” Robert whispered in his ear, arms coming around his waist and beginning to tickle him over his shirt, just wanting Aaron to smile again, hating to see his face curved into such a deep set frown. 

And maybe Robert was right, not that Aaron would ever admit that to the others face, but if there was one thing that he knew for sure (and that wasn’t a lot - he’d dropped out of school for God’s sake). It was that Robert Sugden, the Robert Sugden loved him, and he, Aaron Dingle had loved him back just as much within months, or maybe even weeks of the meeting when he was just sixteen. Robert had always given him the certainty that he had never had in his life, and so, whether it was just platonically, or they were gonna be Emmerdale’s gay (and bisexual) answer to Meghan and Harry, Aaron knew Robert was right, and yes, he could be pretty thick sometimes. 

“Sorry” Aaron finally whispered, turning round to face Robert, his face flushing with embarrassment. He could never be angry at the other, no matter what he had done or how hard Aaron tried. 

Robert took his face between his hands, rubbing the pads of his thumbs on Aaron’s cheeks. “Don’t be so silly, you don’t have to apologise?” he told him. “It should be me, I didn’t mean.. what I said, that you were just...” he shrugged. “I like you Aaron” his voice made it sound like a secret, but at the same time, he wanted to shout it to the whole world. “I really do” 

The laugh that fell from Aaron’s lips wasn’t even on purpose, but as he pressed his face into Roberts' chest he couldn’t help himself. “I know, we have been friends for over 10 years, Rob, I’d hope you like me or we’d have a problem” 

“Not what I meant, is it?” 

“Maybe you should specify...” 

“Hmm? Do you think this will do the trick then?” 

Aaron scrunched up his nose as he looked up towards Robert, confused. 

“What are you on about? You sound like you’ve had one too many and...you’re not even..” 

Robert moved forward to close the gap between the two of them, not taking his time to catch Aaron’s lips in his own, his hands rising again to hold onto Aaron’s face. He couldn’t care less about the number of people surrounding them, because in his head it was him and Aaron taking on the world, the two of them just like it always had been, nothing and nobody else. 

That was of course until he couldn’t block the sounds out of his ears any longer, Vic cheering and Chas grumbling something about her son needing to go upstairs and get a room because they shouldn’t be kissing like that in a pub packed full of paying customers. 

Aaron probably cared a little bit more than Robert did, but the buzz that he felt when he pulled away, gripping Robert’s hands tightly, was unlike anything he had ever felt before (except, perhaps for the aftermath of their earlier activities) and having everyone’s eyes on them, despite being something that Aaron hated with a passion, at that moment, was one hundred percent worth it. 

“Think that worked” he nodded, his eyes making their way up to meet Robert’s, both hands firmly holding onto him. “But you ever do that with that many people around again, and I swear, you’ll never touch me again” 

Robert laughed. “I’ll hold you to that” 

 

The rest of the night went by in a blur of Aaron sitting on Roberts' knee, cuddling into his side as the two of them drank their way through the entire pub. Aaron finally enjoying his birthday properly for the first year in a while - without having to worry about who Robert would bring through the door as his plus one for the night and Aaron would have to pretend to get on with until the early morning hours arose. This time it was him, just him, and there were no worries niggling away in his head. It felt nice, safe and he felt at home. 

The rest of the table surrounding them didn’t agree, for one - drunk Robert and Aaron were even worse than sober Robert and Aaron, and now they were openly all over each other, rather than it being their worst kept secret, so they had to cope with it. 

“They’re so gross” Matty laughed, shaking his head as he watched the two just being overly cute and touchy feely 

“Init, I thought they were bad before, but I think they’ve only just gotten started!” 

“Adam!” Vic scolded, swatting both him and her brother in the arm. She had always been the most positive, and the most in love with Aaron and Robert’s clear love for one another. 

“Leave them alone, will you? Both of you! You’ll be single forever with that attitude” she laughed. “Though, I reckon one of us should probably take the duty to make sure they get to bed safely don’t you?” 

Aaron and Robert had barely looked up from one another’s gaze, laughing about something that nobody could make out, and just wrapped up in one another’s company. 

“I honestly didn’t think they’d get any worse and here they are” Chas smiled, approaching the table as everybody else began to simmer slowly out of the pub - clearly getting late and everyone deciding to make their way home. “They’re not even listening, are they? Look at them, silly buggers!”

She picked up the empty glasses with a big smile, never having seen her son so happy, and despite how annoying it would seem to everyone else around them, she knew in her heart that Aaron deserved nothing more than this. 

“Let them be, they’ll sober up in a while and I’ll make sure they get up to bed,” she told the three remaining friends that were sat around the table. “I’m sure they won’t mind bunking in together in Aaron’s old room, and they’ll be straight to sleep with all the alcohol they’ve been drinking, I’m sure, no funny business” she winked, shaking her head as Vic nodded. 

As everyone said their goodbyes, Aaron finally getting up from Robert’s knee in order to give Adam a massive hug (and a sloppy kiss on the cheek), Chas couldn’t help but smile, she knew that maybe, just maybe, Aaron was gonna finally find some happiness. 

“Up to bed Aaron!” Robert giggled, hiccuping slightly as he brought his hand down to Aaron’s bum. “You might get lucky...again!” 

“Chance would be a fine thing!” Chas laughed again, guiding the two boys towards the stairs. 

Aaron’s laughter filled the whole place as they both struggled their way up the stairs, gripping onto each other for dear life. 

“Happy birthday gorgeous!” Robert called out loudly, stumbling his way into Aaron’s bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment and let me know what you think! or anything you want me to add into the story in the next chapters xx


	14. chapter fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u like it xx

Aaron woke up with a headache he couldn’t shift, confused when he opened his eyes and looked around. He hadn’t lived here for years, so taking in his surroundings and swing his teenage bedroom just the way he had left it when he spontaneously moved in with Robert years before. 

He remembers that day like it was just yesterday, the relief flashing over Chas’ features for only mere seconds before she went into a ramble about how he was too young to leave and was he sure that living alone with Robert would be a good idea. 

“Are you sure?, he basically lives here anyway Aaron, I think this is the first night in two weeks you haven’t kept me up to all hours on that game you’re always playing, poor Adam gets such little look in that he’s gone off and found his sister” she had laughed to him, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna stop you, I know you’re an adult, but-“ 

Aaron had nodded, one hundred percent certain, there was nothing his mum (or anybody else for that matter) could say in order to get him to change his mind. 

”All the more reason for us to move out. as you said, he's here all the time anyway, and when he's not here I'm bunking in with him at Diane’s, it’s just silly when we could have our own place together, split the bills...he’s on his way up that big fuck off business company, god knows what he actually does, and i’ve got my job at the garage. I’m in my twenties mum, it’s no big deal” he had reasoned with her, though ending with a smile. His mum had his best interest at heart and Aaron had grown to learn that over the last couple of years. 

That had felt like such a long time ago now, the memory making Aaron smile as he thought back to it, breaking through the grimace that was painted on his face from the pain in his head. 

He was never drinking again. 

He rolled over on the bed and was faced with the harsh reality of his face smacking against Roberts’ bare chest, laughing slightly as he stood up, leaving him to sleep with a kiss to his temple before he made his way out the room, pushing the door so it would close and nobody would interrupt Robert. 

Making his way down the stairs he groaned, hands in the pockets of his tracksuit bottoms, making a mental note to himself that he was getting way too old to be drinking like that without receiving the god awful repercussions the next day.

“Paracetamol love?” Chas asked with a smile, reaching an arm out to ruffle Aaron’s hair. 

“Shut up! you’re so loud!” 

“Some of ya know how to handle our drink son” she teased, “Rob still sleeping?” 

“Since when has Robert Sugden become Rob to you?” 

“When you were snogging him up against my bar like there was no tomorrow” 

“Could be married with twelve kids and I still think every other Dingle in the family would make a point of calling him Sugden” Aaron shrugged with a small laugh, taking the tablet before sitting down in one of the booths. 

“Maybe it’s finally rubbing off on me then eh? Only took ten years” 

Everything felt so surreal to Aaron when he heard things like that, it felt like he had known Robert all twenty four years of his life in some instances, but at the same time couldn’t understand how it could have been an entire ten years. He’d basically spent every waking moment at the older man’s beck and call from the time he was fourteen. 

He lost himself thinking about it for a moment before he looked up to his Mum. 

“You like Rob don’t you?” he asked. If Aaron had thought about it, that was probably a stupid question, knowing for a fact that his Mum, as well as any other Dingle would have spoken up way before now if they had a problem with anybody Aaron was that close to. 

“You do chat some rubbish” she said, moving to come and sit beside her son, sensing, quite rightly as well that there was a conversation coming out of this.   
“Of course I like him” she admitted

“The poor boys been in and out this house more than I have in the last ten years, and that says something - considering I own the place” she laughed. 

Aaron nodded, shrugging. “I’m just checking...because, I really like him Mum” he said softly, biting down on his lip until he could taste blood on his tongue. 

“You don’t need to tell me that, It’s been clear and bleeding obvious since you were fourteen! I knew you fancied Robert before you knew you were gay” 

The laugh that she gave after that made Aaron feel immediately lighter, the (perhaps unnecessary) worries that he had suddenly built up in his head were fading, still there, but just not as vibrant as they had been before. 

“I guess so” he said, smiling up at her a little bit, legs kicked over the table. “It’s just so weird, having him...so present and, in my bed like...” shrugging as Chas listened intently. “I’ve had him as my best friend for so long, it feel like all my luck has struck at once” he admitted. 

“Don’t tell him, I sound like I’ve gone soft” 

“Secret’s safe with me” Chas promised, looking up to the clock before back at her son. “Now scram!” she teased. “Go back to lover boy so I can open this place up without you, your hangover with your dirty feet on my tables!” 

Making his way out to the back of the pub Aaron smiled, slowly making his way up to his bedroom so he wouldn’t make any noise on the stairs incase Robert was still sound asleep. 

 

“Aaron s’that you?” 

If Aaron was going to be honest, he was pretty sure Robert sounded about as rough as he felt, 

“Hangover made you feel as shit as it did me?” he asked as he walked in to see his best friend (boyfriend?) laid out on the bed. 

Aaron made a mental note to ask Robert about that the next time the situation arose. 

“I’m tellin’ you mate, we’re way too old to be doing this now” 

“Should’ve stopped by the time we both hit twenty” 

“You say that, but that would mean cancelling out my 21st” 

“The one where you threw up all over me? Yeah, wouldn’t miss that for the life of me” 

“Shut up!” 

Aaron smiled and rolled his eyes. “I feel like shit” 

“You think a cuddle will make things better?” 

The wink that Robert gave him made Aaron’s stomach flip in a way that he didn’t like. It meant that he was getting to him, and that’s something Aaron was scared of. What if they were gonna go back to best friends again at the drop of the hat? What even were they now? 

“Shut up, stop being soft, and budge over...this bed is smaller than the one at home! You’re gonna have me off the end of it in no time if you carry on!” 

“Looks like you’ll have to come closer then won’t you!” 

Robert smiled as he grabbed Aaron and pulled him back so that he was sitting between his legs, tickling him and pressing kisses to his neck. 

“What the fuck are you doing!” Aarons laughter filled the semi silent room, “Rob get off me!” 

“When you laugh...” Robert admitted “That’s my favourite sound...” 

He knew that was soppy and he was well aware that in any other situation Aaron would have pushed him away and told him to shut up, but it was true. It hadn’t been so long ago that Robert hadn’t heard that for months on end, when Aaron was struggling, he’d shut himself away and become almost like a shell of himself, so when he was happy Robert treasured it like it was the most special thing on the earth. 

“I love you” Aaron whispered. “I really, really love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone has any ideas for next chapters i’d love to hear them! i have a couple more planned but i don’t know if people would want me to carry on xx


	15. chapter fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry that this wasn’t up quicker! ive been so busy these last couple of days and i wrote this quickly in the midst of a mental breakdown and really quickly so i hope it isn’t too bad! hope u all love it xxx

They sat in silence for so long after Aaron’s confession that if it had been anybody else besides him he probably would have jumped up and run away out of fear of being rejected but the look on Roberts' face was what had comforted him to no end, happy to sit in silence for as long as the other man wanted to. It was what everybody around Robert and Aaron liked to refer to as Robert’s “Aaron face” and it could only be described as the biggest amount of heart eyes that any of them had ever seen before in their lives. 

Aaron himself had only seen one like that a few times in his life, today for one, and also when he had sat down and spoken to Robert about everything in his head when he was just seventeen. He was getting better now, slowly but surely, and he had Robert to thank for that. Year after year his best friend would sit and listen to anything he had to say, free from judgement, just holding Aaron in his arms until he had calmed down and stopped crying. When he would look up at Robert’s face then, he saw his ‘Aaron face’ in all its glory, like it was in front of him right now. 

“Did you just... tell me you love me, Aaron Dingle?” Robert asked, his soft tone breaking through the silence that had previously filled the room. 

“Don’t let your ego get too big, I think I love Adam more than you” he smirked, leaning back against the headboard, the blush still strong across his pale skin. 

“Oh yeah?” 

Aaron nodded. “He’s probably better than you in bed as well, Sugden” 

“You cheeky little shit!” 

Aaron loved this, loved Robert and loved that he could still continue having the same friendship he had with the man for all these years, nothing changing within their interactions with each other even though so much had changed recently. 

”You wouldn't have it any other way, don't try and act offended or I’ll take it back all together” 

”You would never even dare, you haven't even let me answer you yet” 

”Takin’ your time aren't ya?” Aaron laughed. ”Slowcoach” 

”I love you too, Aaron” 

”Is that what you said when you fucked Chrissie?” 

”Nah, it's a different story with you though...get your kit off” 

”Christ, aren't you romantic...” 

Robert laughed, sticking his tongue out cheekily at Aaron before shutting the door, hoping to God that the walls were thick enough to drown out any noises that would fill the room over the next hour. He knew it was risky, especially in the early afternoon with Chas and Paddy downstairs and what would likely be a pub packed full of hungry lunchtime punters.

“Sounds a plan” 

Laying naked and sated with Aaron, despite only doing it twice before with the man, was Robert’s most favourite thing to do - he had just decided. 

The only thing covering the two or them was the duvet barely pulled over their hips, laying close to each other, Robert’s fingers dancing lightly over Aaron’s stomach and his chest, pressing soft kisses to his lips with every chance he had, paying extra attention when he reached the scars that were scattered over Aaron’s skin, most of them filtering in colour where they'd been healing for a while and only a couple of angry red ones that Robert chose not to linger on for too long. Aaron was recovering each day, getting better as each passed and turned from day to night , but he knew there would be setbacks, days where he would happily tend to Aaron’s wounds if he needed him too, in any way that could present itself even if it meant that listening to the man pour his heart out way after the sun had set and they were supposed to be heading to bed for the night, or patching Aaron up himself, finding a first aid kit at the back of the cupboard and carefully taking care of him so he didn't have to go to the hospital like he would repeatedly dread. Robert didn't mind, he would give himself, his head and his heart to Aaron in any way he needed to and be the one person that would always be there for him. It didn't matter whether they were friends, best friends or in the awkward limbo of what they were today, not really having a title to their relationship status, that didn't change anything. Robert would solidly be there, no matter what. 

”I’m so proud of you, you know that right?” he told Aaron, his thumb stroking across one of the older scars. He knew this would take a lot for Aaron, hating showing this much skin and opening him up to being vulnerable in any way whatsoever. It meant a lot to Robert that anybody would even trust him this much. 

”Hmm?” 

”I said I'm proud of you, Aaron”

Aaron looked down and caught the sight of Roberts' hands and where they were on him, having to fight the urge to pull away, having to reassure himself at lightening speed that Robert was allowed to do this, that he trusted him, trying not to get lost in his head. 

”Nothing to be proud of me for...”

”Of course there is, you doing know how fucking strong you are Aaron!” 

Hearing Robert use his name in such a strong way almost made him believe the man’s words himself, but he didn't think he was strong at all, he thought he was weak, sometimes thought he was worthless, and really he wouldn't have been much more than a pathetic mess of a man if it wasn't for Robert. Yes, he could look past that now and pick out a few good things about himself if he really tried, but cuddling up close to Robert as he thanked him, he knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be half the man he was without his best friend by his side. Aaron had so much to thank him for, more than anybody would ever understand or be able to comprehend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also! i’m taking this fic in a bit of a fun direction and i’m gonna do a flashback for the next chapter or next couple so :))


	16. chapter sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all flashback so i hope you enjoy it! as i said before we’re gonna be exploring aaron’s self harm and his abuse from gordon a little bit but it won’t be graphic at all! let me know what you think xx

Aaron had been sitting in the field out around the back of his house for what felt like years, kicking at the grass and therefore in return he had managed to scuff his brand new trainers and make his grey tracksuit turn into more of a rank greenish-brown. He had stopped crying now, but his eyes were red-rimmed and his throat was sore, his voice hoarse from the amount he had been shouting. He hated this, he hated life and he didn't want to be around anymore, for nothing and for nobody, except maybe Robert Sugden. He was what the arseholes in the soppy romance novels would call Aaron’s light at the end of the tunnel. Not that Aaron believed in any of that rubbish, and even if he did he wouldn't be admitting it to anybody anytime soon. He had a reputation to keep up thank you very much. At fifteen he was barely still in the closet, hanging onto the remnants of his straight persona for dear life, and if anybody asked him to his face he was very much straight and Victoria was definitely (not) the best-looking member of that respective family. Robert however? They were best friends, had been for about a year or so now, growing Aaron’s grand total of two friends (Adam and Vic) to a number that he could almost be proud of himself for keeping that many people in his life. 3. He hadn't had that many people in his life for as long as he could remember. He was always falling out with one parent, staying with the other, until it happened all over again and he was forced to apologise to one or the other. It was always his fucking fault, never anybody else. 

This time, however, he had well and truly fucked it. His mum was trying, he’d give her that, but she’d waltzed back into Aaron’s life like she wanted to be called Queen Elizabeth and he just wasn't having it, so he’d chosen to give his wanker of a dad another chance. He had a new wife, and she was just as annoying as ever, but his dad, his dad was even worse than he had been a few months ago, doing things to Aaron that he would never admit out loud, and leaving bruises scattered all over his skin. Aaron hated it and he hated himself, so he had taken matters into his own hands and inflicted his own pain upon himself to try and cover the bruises that Gordon had left him, it just wasn't working, so bad he’d kept going and going, and now he wasn't sure what do do. 

That's how he had ended up here, needing to get away from the house, a bag full of most of his belongings over one shoulder, because he really didn’t have much to call his own anymore, a few shitty t-shirts, tracksuits and a couple of bomber jackets was all he could really say that he had to his name. It was crap, but that was life and he had no other choice but to put up with it. Wincing as he pulled his jacket sleeves down over his arms, he sighed, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill over and expose Aaron to the world for what he really was. Everyone thought he was so strong and he couldn't show this side of himself, couldn't let his guard down and let himself be weak for anyone. Other than the (fit) blonde Sugden brother. 

”Rob? You busy mate?” He asked down the phone. ”I've got a beer if you want it?” Aaron bit down on his lip, trying to stop himself from shivering in the cold winter as the wind rushed over him. ”You know where I am, it's our spot”. 

Robert was there as quick as a shot, and for one of the very few times in his life, Aaron felt a warmth spread throughout him. Was this what it was like to feel loved and wanted? He wasn't sure. But whatever it was, it was a nice feeling that he was also completely certain he wasn't supposed to be having for a boy. However wrong it was though, he couldn't even imagine wishing it was anybody else sat beside him on the grass. 

”You can talk to me Aaron” Robert whispered to him, the only person knowing how to get inside Aaron’s head in a good way instead of bad. 

And Aaron did, the way that Robert’s soft voice seemed to sing to his soul had Aaron opening up in ways that he could never even imagine doing for anybody. He spoke until it was dark outside, the sun having set on the day hours ago, and Robert should probably have been in bed way before what he would end up being. He was supposed to be revising for exams. His teachers would kill him, but he’d rather that than leave Aaron in this state. 

”Come home with me?” Robert finally asked when there was a break in Aaron’s speech, finally giving him a chance to say something. ”I’ll get you cleaned up, or you'll end up infected” 

He had to act his age, for this one moment if never again in his life, get Aaron home safe, and then they could talk about it again, but he could see Aaron slowly becoming weaker and succumbing to the pain he was feeling, both in his mind as well as in his body. 

He couldn't bring himself to do anything more than nod at Robert. He would kick up a fuss usually, not wanting to have someone look after him like this. He could do it himself, he had done for his whole life so it didn't seem to be any different. This time was different. 

”I'm sorry Rob” Aaron cried, finally breaking as he curled up into his side, wincing at the feeling of his t-shirt against his chest. 

”C’mon, don't apologise, get that top off and I'll sort you out, and then you can stay here for the night, I'll tell Miss you're off sick when I go in tomorrow, you can stay here, I'll tell Diane and everyone you’ve got a stomach bug, they won't ask questions then,” Robert promised him. 

That was the good thing about their friendship, even though they were both in different years, everybody knew they were close, and going to the same school made it easier. Everybody would ask Robert about Aaron and Aaron about Robert. 

Aaron nodded and began to take his top off, avoiding Robert’s eyes because he didn't want to see the disappointment that was going to fill them.

He tried his best not to react, but Robert couldn't help but blink back tears when Aaron removed his shirt, knowing that he couldn't show it and he had to stay neutral for the sake of Aaron. 

”Right, this is gonna sting” 

Aaron flinched as the antiseptic ran over his skin, reaching out and grabbing Robert’s spare hand without even realising it, before quickly snatching it away. 

”Sorry” he mumbled, licking over his lips nervously. ”You should go to bed Rob, you've got school in the morning” 

Robert nodded. ”I will, just as soon as I've sorted you out,” he said with a soft smile. 

He stayed there until he had cleaned up Aaron completely, covering the worst ones with bandages and tape. 

”That's better” he whispered, eyes drooping from tiredness. 

He wanted to talk to Aaron some more but it was reaching the early hours of the morning. 

”Kip in with me tonight,” he told him, as Aaron slowly nodded. 

He'd slept in Robert’s bed before, but it made him nervous, nobody knew he was gay. He didn't want to be gay, especially not after what his dad had done. What if he got too close to Robert in the night and so much was obvious? 

He climbed in any way, offering Robert a slight smile. 

”Thank you for tonight” he whispered. ”Please don't tell anybody” 

”I won't. I wanna talk about it tomorrow though”   
”Ok...”

”Goodnight Aaron”

”Goodnight Rob...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think of these kinda chapters because i’m thinking of doing a couple more xx


	17. chapter seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this lil two chapter throwback thing! i have an idea for this fic that i’m gonna put in the end notes but i’m not 100% if i wanna do it so please let me know ur thoughts!

Robert woke up at six in the morning - he did it every day where he was supposed to be in school, but more than one thing differed today, the deep purple bags sitting below his eyes. If there was one thing Robert loved it was a good night of sleep, but perhaps he had discovered that he loved a certain Dingle boy a little bit more, standing up and switching his his alarm off quickly so it wouldn't wake up the boy in his bed. This was the first time in months that he had seen Aaron look so peaceful, the harsh frown that usually played across his features replaced with the softer appearance of sleep. Before leaving, he made Aaron a glass of juice and left a cereal bar beside his bed, wanting to make sure Aaron had something to eat even without Robert there to coax him into it. 

Tiptoeing down the stairs to be as quiet as he possibly could, not wanting to wake Aaron unnecessarily, though running into Victoria before he had successfully made it out the door. 

”You have not brought someone back home on a school night Rob!” she gasped ”What is actually wrong with you? Can you not keep it in your pants for one night?”

Vic was laughing, but Robert was too tired for this. They might be the same age, but Aaron and Victoria were so very different, and as much as he loved his sister, there's something he didn't appreciate about her questioning his every move. 

”I didn't, not really, not that its any of your business, whatsoever!” 

He wasn't usually so incredibly short with her, but the tiny amount of sleep he had gotten really wasn't helping the case. 

”Well then, why are you creeping about, hiding from Diane, and why the fuck do you look like you're on death's door!” she asked, shaking her head in amusement. ”You can't lie to me Rob, I’m your little sister” 

She was right, the smile and the big pleading eyes always got him in a way that he wishes they didn't, never being able to lie very well to his little sister even with how hard he tried. Anybody else and the lies rolled off of his tongue like the simplest thing in the entire world. 

”It’s Aaron” he admitted after a short silence, his sisters eyes not leaving his own, waiting for an answer. 

”Dingle? ...Grey tracksuit, bit mardy, don't look at him the wrong way or he’ll deck ya, but actually really nice Aaron Dingle?” she asked, laughing before laughing, ”Aaron Dingle that kissed your little sister behind the bike sheds last year?” 

In that moment, Robert knew. Andy was never the wind up of the Sugden family. It was Victoria. 

”Nothing happened, don't be stupid, he's straight, first off...its also, illegal, kinda, he’s not sixteen yet is he..I-uh”

Why was he mumbling and stumbling over himself like that? He didn't even fancy Aaron (did he?) so why was he doing his best to try and cover his tracks for something that hadn't even happened. Managing to pull himself together Robert shook his head. 

”He’s been having trouble with his parents, you know they bring him back and forth like a yo-yo, please don't wake him up, he's had a tough night” 

Victoria nodded, confused but she said nothing, letting Robert head out the door to school. It was weird for her brother to become so defensive over something that was clearly a joke. It hadn’t even crossed her mind. She knew that Robert and Aaron were close, jokingly even made a point of the fact to the both of them that her brother had stolen her best friend off of her, but she didn’t really think anything of it until now, the seed being planted in her mind. Why would Robert have Aaron sleeping in his room, in his bed? They had a perfectly acceptable spare room and a sofa if need be? There was probably a reason, she told herself, she just didn't quite get it. She had never known Robert to be so nice to anyone. 

Making his way into school that morning, Robert quickly decided that he would very much rather be spending his time elsewhere, namely next to Aaron and making sure he was okay, but that wasn’t the point. He was groggy and tired and just wanted to be home, happy that his day only consisted of a couple of classes and then he could do just that. 

He found his way to Aaron’s form teacher first, smiling sweetly at her as he made his way to her desk. “Aaron’s really sick today Miss, think it’s a stomach bug or something” 

“Oh, is he?” she asked, almost interrogating Robert a little bit, though still with a soft tone. They got on well, both Aaron and Robert with this teacher, and she was happy just as long as Aaron was doing better this year, than he was last year - he was just about keeping on that target, so a couple of days off was nothing to worry about, but she still liked to keep both boys on their toes. “How come neither one of his parents have called up and let me know then?” she asked, 

“He was staying with me, uh, over the weekend, you know what his parents are like...” he whispered, looking behind him to make sure nobody else was listening in, and thankfully the door had stayed shut behind him. As could be expected Aaron hated anybody knowing about his home life anymore than they needed to, though of course because he would go back and forth between Chas and Gordon so often, the school had to keep it on file. Robert thought that was stupid. Anybody’s personal business was just that. 

She nodded. 

“I’m gonna try and convince him to stay at mine for a bit” he admitted, the worries in his chest rising further than they should have been, being careful not to spill anything more than that, he didn’t want to end up telling more than he was supposed to, he didn’t even really know what was going on himself yet - that’s why he needed to get home. 

“Robert?” Miss Grant asked quietly. “Are you sure it’s just a stomach bug? You seem...off” 

He nodded

“Yeah! Don’t worry Miss!” he grinned, using all his force to work up to being bubbly and loud again and not like he’d just missed out on a good nights sleep because he’d been worrying about everything his best friend had been doing to himself. “I’m just tired, Didn’t want Aaron throwing his guts up in my bed..uh, his bed”. There it was again, he supposed it didn’t really matter, but the thought of telling everybody that they shared a bed made him feel a bit funny on the inside. He couldn’t have that, he knew what people in this school were like, and neither Robert or Aaron were gay, so they couldn’t have that. “I had to make sure he didn’t choke didn’t I, can’t have my best pal dying on me can we?” he laughed awkwardly. 

Jessie nodded, offering Robert a reassuring look. She was sure there was something going on between the two of them, but maybe they didn’t know it themselves yet. 

“Well if that’s all, give him my love and...Rob?” she asked, watching as Robert had turned his back ready to make his way out the door. “If you’re sure that’s all, I reckon I can sign you off for the rest of the morning, you look sick as a dog!” 

Robert laughed, nodding. This is why she was everyone’s favourite. Honest and kind but she also didn’t let anybody get away with any shit. “Are you sure? Thanks Miss” 

“Go home, but you better tell me what’s actually wrong with Aaron when you’re back in the morning!” she winked. 

Robert couldn’t get out the door quick enough if he tried. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just keep telling the teachers Aaron had a stomach bug for the rest of the week, but there was part of him that just didn’t know how to send the boy off in the state he was in. He didn’t even know what was going on, and he was terrified. How was he supposed to explain it to anybody when he didn’t even know himself?  
With that thought Robert found him back at home with a flash, fumbling to get his key in the door and shutting it just as quickly behind him. Diane looking up at him, more than confused. 

“I know I’m old, but I’m sure when I was your age there was this thing called school, and it was compulsory to attend?”

Robert made a face and rolled his eyes at her, throwing the piece of paper that Miss Grant had signed to let him leave in his step-mums general direction, saying nothing before he bolted up the stairs two at a time. He had never felt this feeling before like he had to be with Aaron and he didn't have a choice, just wanting to make sure that he was okay. 

”Aaron?” he called softly, pushing his bedroom door open so he could slip inside the room without too much commotion. 

”Hey, did I sleep in?” His voice still soft and full of sleep. 

”Nah mate, Miss Grant sent me home early, legend she is...”

Robert sat on the edge of the bed, offering Aaron a smile, sitting in silence for a little because they both knew what was coming. 

“You know we have to talk about last night don’t you?” Robert whispered, biting his lip nervously. “You can tell me anything, and I promise, it stays with me, I just...” he sighed softly, shrugging. ”You’re my best pal Aaron, I want you to trust me, and I've gotta know you're okay...but you’re not” 

When he looked up again, Aaron had tears rolling down his cheeks, wiping them away as quickly as they fell to try and hide them from Robert. It broke his heart. 

”It’s my Dad...” Aaron whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically! i’m thinking of maybe makin this fic into a series! obviously this was a friends 2 lovers fic n we’ve kinda got there so after a few more chapters i’m thinking of making a seperate work that’s the same characters same universe n everything but just what aaron and robert get up to as proper boyfriends and maybe another about their past and make it into like a three part series! obviously this fic isn’t finished yet but just because i don’t wanna make it too messy when i’ve made a point of this being friends to lovers! 
> 
> please please please let me know your thoughts on whether you’d prefer one big one or as i said and if you have any better ideas because i’d really love to know xxx


End file.
